How to Show Him You Love Him

I got these 50 tips from another blog, but I agree with them!

DROP EVERYTHING.  When the kids are in bed and you get excited about doing your own thing, try to put your eternal “to do” list aside for a moment.  Give your husband your undivided attention!

LIPSTICK & TOLIET MESSAGES.  One time I wrote a little love note on our bathroom mirror with lipstick.  Another time I wrote on toilet paper with a permanent marker and laid out the message on top of the toilet water.  In the morning, he had a funny surprise!

PACK HIS FAVORITE TREAT Buy his favorite candy bar or make a treat, and pack it in his lunch with a love note.

TEXT HIM Surprise him with a spontaneous cute sentence about why you love him or are grateful for him!  An email would work too.

START A HOBBY TOGETHER.  Ok, so with our babies asleep at home one night, we decided to write a “bucket list” of fun things we wanted to do together.  One of which is to borrow his family’s tangible encyclopedias, start with A, and learn and teach each other cool things.  Find something you both would enjoy!

DARE TO BE BOLD.   Everyone knows that marital intimacy is important to husbands.  Initiate and be open to physical affection. 

PLAN A DATE NIGHT even it is in your own home when the kiddos are asleep.  CLICK HERE to see some date night ideas.  It’s so important to have that time to fall in love all over again!

START A “LOVE JOURNAL” where you can write letters to each other, paste in notes you’ve both written, special memories, and such.  CLICK HERE to see examples!

  KEEP YOURSELF ATTRACTIVE It's easy to fall into a "house wife" mode and just walk around in "cleaning clothes" with your hair twisted into a mess. That's ok sometimes, but try to be more presentable by the time your husband sees you. Bathe, put on clean clothes, makeup, and actually do your hair .... I just have to add a side note that this sometimes takes a mere miracle but you can do it!  

MAKE HIM A HEART-SHAPED BREAKFAST Make heart-shaped pancakes or heart-shaped toast!

FLIRT WITH HIM Just because you've snagged him, don't stop flirting! Wink at him, squeeze his muscles, stare in awe of how handsome he is, or now that your married, it's not at all out of line to be a little bolder in your purpose.

 DON'T TRY TO BE HIS MOM Remember you are his wife, not his mother. Don't jump him every time he does something differently than you’d like.  Remember, you are equals.

 LAUGH AT HIS QUIRKS  Focus on not letting the little things that your husband does get on your nerves. If you think about it, some of these things may have been what attracted you to him! He just wouldn't be the same if he didn't do these things.

WRITE A MESSAGE OUT ON PAPER HOLE PUNCH CIRCLES.  Grab a bunch of leftover hole punches and number them and write one letter on each one to spell out a message! 

GIVE HIM A MASSAGE.  I bet he would love a spontaneous head rub or go all out and give him a back rub with lotion.  Your touch means a lot to him.

GRAB A KISS WHILE YOU WAIT Kiss your husband while you're waiting at the stoplight or in the food drive-through.

GREET HIM AT THE DOOR Don't wait for your husband to say, "Honey, I'm home!" Watch for him and greet him at the door with a hug and kiss! Ok, I just have to interject that I’m assuming many of us are watching the clock so ready for our husbands to come home and rescue us!  But it’s an awesome reminder to make that greeting a special, exciting one not one that our husbands dread :).  

TALK ABOUT HIS INTERESTS Bring up a subject that interests him and listen to him talk. Even if the subject doesn't interest you, enjoy watching him as he gets stirred up over the topic.

SLOW DANCE in the kitchen when the kids go to bed. 

LET HIM OVERHEAR YOU PRAISE HIM or intentionally BRAG ON HIM WHEN IN FRONT OF FAMILY or his friends.

SURPRISE GIFT.  Surprise him with a fun gift of some kind that he’d really enjoy.

HOLD YOUR TONGUE.  When you are in a moment of frustration, try waiting to discuss a matter until you have a clearer perspective and can be sincerely kind.

MAKE YOUR HOME HIS REFUGE. Focus on making your home a haven were your husband can retreat from the stresses of life. Do your best to make it a pleasant environment.

 ENCOURAGE HIS HOBBIES, even if you’re perhaps not fond of some.  Encourage him, even help make it happen!  It will make a huge difference and help him tremendously to feel more balanced and to be his best self.

TAKE A HIKE OR WALK TOGETHER. It's hard to hold hands while pushing a stroller, but at least you can talk!

EAT AN ICE CREAM CONE TOGETHER Buy one, large cone, and eat it together at the same time.

 IN A MOMENT WHEN YOU COULD BE IRRITABLE, TRY TO LAUGH instead!  Try to be witty or flirty in a moment when you could be grumpy. 

PRAY TOGETHER EACH NIGHT. Recently I attended a wedding ceremony where I heard some of the best marriage advice! So when it’s the husband’s turn he is to pray about 1) what he is grateful for in his bride and 2) what he will do to be more worthy of her love.  Then the next night, the wife does the same thing and you switch back and forth.  How bonding and beautiful this is!  Hearing your spouse pray about you is a very special thing.

ENCOURAGE HIM TO BUY THAT TOY he's been wanting so badly. Better yet, put some of your own things off, save the money and buy it for him yourself!

 MEND HIS CLOTHES Buy a sewing kit and repair those sock holes! Break down and sew on his popped-off buttons. This may increase his wardrobe by 20%!

HAVE A WRESTLING MATCH This will get you both laughing, and the closeness will be fun.  It will remind you not to be so serious.

SEEK HIS ADVICE Ask for your husband's input and advice on anything from children to what he might like to eat. This will let him know he's needed and that his thoughts are important.

 LOOK OUT FOR HIS HEALTH Encourage your husband to get plenty of sleep and exercise. Try cooking some healthy meals, and buy him nutritional supplements.

 MAKE HIM A COUPON BOOK  Give him coupons to redeem—maybe for a back scratch or a shoulder rub.

CUDDLE WHILE WATCHING A MOVIE.  Maybe you could even pick out a movie you know he would really like and have a yummy treat!

DON'T BE A PESSIMIST Try not to focus too much on the negative. Try to have a positive outlook in your marriage and on life.  There’s a difference between having real and honest talks (which is necessary) and just have a sour outlook on everything.

EAT BY CANDLELIGHT. 

 PAMPER HIM WHEN HE'S SICK Men love to be pampered, especially when they're sick. Make sure everything is comfortable and that he has some special foods.

PLAY A GAME TOGETHER

LOOK HIM IN THE EYES Look your husband straight in the eyes when he talks to you. Not only will this show that you're interested in what he has to say, but there’s something about looking straight into his eyes that will give you butterflies.

DON'T PUSH THE BUDGET If you can't afford certain things, don't buy them.  Try not to complain about your standard of living or whine about the things that you don't have. He desires to be a great provider for you.

 HELP HIM SHAVE This is a fun way to be close and to get you both laughing!

 LOVE YOURSELF Many times we as women hold back on our husbands because of our own insecurities. Learn to let it go. The things that we're so worried about, usually don't even bother him. What bothers him is when we hold back.

DEFEND HIM Don't let others disrespect your husband. Even just a snide comment can hurt. Stick up for the most important person in your life.

RATHER THAN BECOMING OFFENDED, SEEK TO UNDERSTAND.  A woman's brain and corpus callosum actually is wired a lot differently than a man's brain due to hormones in utero.  For one example, women tend to reflect what others say towards themselves and can sometimes take harmless comments offensively.  In conversation, try seeking to understand rather than reflecting comments on yourself.

 JUST GO TO BED!  I don’t always believe in the adage to never go to bed angry.  Our kids sure struggle when they are over tired, and so do we.  In a moment of frustration when tired and cranky, sometimes just go to bed. You'll likely wake up in the morning with a renewed perspective! :)

 PRAISE and SHOW APPRECIATION When your husband works hard, or does something for you, let him know you appreciate him!  Interestingly, researchers have found that praise and admiration is actually on men’s top 5 needs in marriage.  CLICK HERE to see the top 5 needs of men vs. women.

 KEEP LEARNING AND BEING CURIOUS.  It can take some real effort and creativity to expand your intellect while tending lots of littles, but it will make you a more beautiful and interesting wife and mother!  Maybe listen to interesting podcasts as you attack the piles of dishes, always carry a good book with you, or quickly research one new topic especially if it’s something your husband would also find interesting!

DON'T COMPARE.  Be careful not to compare your husband to others - your dad, brothers, or other men.  They may be great, but remember your husband is too.  Likewise we should avoid comparing ourselves to other wives and moms.   

ENCOURAGE MAN TIME.  Enthusiastically support your husband in perhaps watching sports with other guys, playing sports, or having time to hang out with guys he is close to.