Rite of Passage, Mama is My First Name, Self-Esteem, and More

1. It seems like a rite of passage to parenthood is having the children join you while you go to the bathroom. Madeline decided to join me the other day for the trillionth time. About ten minutes later she said, "Mama, you have a beautiful butt." And you know what? It totally made me feel beautiful. I can't say anyone has ever said that about me. Children see things in a way that is so fresh and unadulterated. They see things that might be left unseen otherwise.

2. Today I was trying to teach Maddy how to say our last name. After, she said "Sampson Thack-ry...Mama Thack-ry...Papa Thack-ry." My first name is Mama, don't ya know?

3. I struggle with self esteem issues. I just don't feel like there is anything extraordinary about me, but my teeth are dang strong, and I know I'm not ugly. In any case, all I see when I look in the mirror is acne scars, whiskers, eyebrows with no apparent arch, stretch marks, jiggly bits, and a lopsided face. If we, as humans, see beauty as symmetry...that's not me. But today I read a great quote by Elder David A. Bednar, "There is a beauty in [the] countenance that's not physical." I am spiritually good. I have good intentions and good morals. I try to be kind to everyone around me. I hope when people meet me they think "She is a pleasant person" or "We could be friends." I saw this the other day:

It kinda helps. But, I know a model. She IS the girl the magazine, and she is beautiful and she is kind. I don't know her whole life or her struggles, but she is beautiful and that is one of her gifts in this life. I often think about when I become whole again, after this life, that my body --in its resurrected form--will choose one of my sides to become symmetrical with.  Which side will it be? I think I like my left side more than my right. 

4. Maybe not every women cares about if she becomes a mother. But I feel like if you are one that does care people complain on both sides of the line. They complain if they can't get pregnant, and they complain while they are pregnant. I'm guilty. I have incredibly painful cramps when my period comes around, and I get really emotional and tired. It sucks. Then, I complain while I am pregnant because pregnancy is not easy for me. Our trials in this life are so different. I hope we can share our pains and mourn together, but I also hope that we can share our happiness and smile together. Truly.

5. My mother-in-law is coming to visit next month! We are so excited to have family visiting. She is coming to drop Sarah, my sister-in-law, off. Sarah is going to live with us for a little bit before she heads off to college. It's weird that I'm not in college anymore. It's even weird that I'm married and have children. Where did my 15-year-old self go? I can say "Twenty years ago" and still have memories of that time. What?!

6. Little Faye turned 1 last week. She seemed to know and started learning a bunch of new things like real intentional kisses, waving hello, and almost-walking-but-definitely-standing-on-her-own.