What They Want You To Think Bed Rest Looks Like, and What It Really Looks Like

This is how it feels when they first tell you that you need to be on bed rest:

And I don't even like basketball. -sigh-

Bath-time has become a bit of a sanctuary for me. It's the only time of the day for a length of time that I am not laying in bed. Instead I am laying in a vat of water. It feels nice to be "weightless." After my bath I feel like my body is renewed for another day. Marcus wonders why I take them so often lately. This is why.

This is how it is minus the bathing suit and there are usually some bubbles. It is so nice.

 These are some nice beautiful pictures of what people want you to think bed rest is like:

This would never happen because you can't get out of bed to do your hair in perfect curls. I wish. 

No one looks this good or is this happy to just sit there. 

This is a nice idea. If I knew how to knit I would. Maybe. But how much knitting can one actually handle?

No one actually sleeps while on bed rest...and no one smiles when they sleep. That is just creepy. 

What bed rest is ACTUALLY like:

Lots of headaches from a change in lifestyle and added medicines. 

Boredom.

Lots of T.V.

Lack of hair style and makeup and lots of crying; crying because you're bored, crying because you want the baby to be healthy and strong, crying because no one is there, crying because you miss the world outside the walls of your room and bathroom, etc. 

All of those things are worth bringing a new soul and spirit into our family. I love this tiny girl and I am grateful to be able to focus on her little (sometimes big) kicks. It is the only thing that really makes this bearable; knowing that I am doing this because I am creating a person.

My mom told me something that helps take the guilt away from having Marcus take on all other responsibilities. We are partners and we decided to do this together; to make a family together. Some men have to do more work to get children into this world than others. Marcus just happens to be one of the lucky ones. I can see that he is slowly losing it though. He takes care of Madeline and me 24/7. We call on him for everything. I wish we could trade places. I do. He doesn't blame me, he just thinks the situation sucks. You know, it does. But we will make it. One more month (plus a little). But, they might move me to the hospital next week. It depends on my fluid and dilating status. If my water breaks, which it can any time, I will definitely be going to the hospital. I don't mind hospitals, and we have insurance. 

I do realize that I am blessed immensely in my life still. I have a wonderful ward and people who volunteer to help out; specifically my visiting teacher and friend--Lauren. She watches Maddy and is pretty much on call whenever I need something. She is an angel. And then there is the woman and friend I visit teach--Kristin. She texts me to make sure I am good and to see if the relief society needs to do anything for me. The Relief Society is definitely an amazing and inspired program. I am sure Emma Smith would be proud to see how far it has come because it truly helps women to touch the lives of those in their immediate areas, and sometimes across the world if it is the right kind of service project. I am glad to be part of the Relief Society.

My family has also been super supportive. Mom sent me two cute nightgowns so I could feel pretty. Alicia is sending my some makeup which I can't wait to try out. Melanie calls me on Skype. So blessed. 

So, if you're wondering how I am doing just refer back to what bed rest actually looks like. That is the honest truth. Sometimes good things happen like Marcus surprises me with a big bag of Lays Potato Chips and freshly made ranch dip; that makes me joyous. I know I can handle this. 

Love,

Christiana

Rediscovering Music

Sometimes it is good to be trapped in bed because then I get to catch up on things that I have been missing out on since being so crazy busy with school, family, church...mostly school.

Music and books.

I haven't had time for recreational music-listening or reading, and now...time's all I have. Marcus is going to the library to check me out some books to read this coming week. I will talk about those after I read them. For now, I am just going to mention songs that I really like and have barely heard, but kinda sorta love! (Disclaimer, I only listen to edited versions of songs.)

• Wake Me Up by Avicii--Dance and Road trip song
• Ho Hey by The Lumineers--Road Trip song
• I Love It by Icona Pop--great fun break up song...not that I am breaking up with anyone ever. 
• Everything Has Changed by Taylor Swift--thinking song
• Sure Be Cool if You Did by Blake Shelton--slow but super cute. 
• I Want Crazy by Hunter Hayes--fun cute love song that describes me and Marcus :D (and probably you and your special someone if you have one) Also some people think that love is this super epiphany-like thing...sometimes it's just love. There are days you feel like you're on some kind of high and there are days where a peck on the lips is good enough. 
• Just Give Me a Reason by P!nk --knowing that love takes work and being strong enough to do the work.
• Cups by (many artists) Anna Kendrick--simple and easy to listen to.
• Beneath Your Beautiful by Labrinth--kinda reminds me that there is more to me than supposed beauty or uglyness; we are all people underneath the outer shells. 
• Some Nights by fun--So fun! Road trip and dance song
• Still Into You by Paramore--Again...like me and Marcus though we have many more years to make people wonder how we are together..how we make things work. 

So, which songs would you recommend?

Stay-Busy

I already organized all of Madeline's old clothes into sizes and which I want to keep and which I want to give away. I did this in bed, of course. It is nice to be able to nest even if it is not deep-cleaning which I really want to do.

Ideas to keep me sane and busy:

• redecorate the door wreath 
• go through my clothes and decide which can go and which will stay
• keep a blog/journal about each day
• write letters
• finish up Madeline's baby book
• do some online shopping--I want the whole caboodle and a double stroller which I plan on seeing on Friday. 
• read a book
• start a new hobby--I want to learn how to make turban-knotted headbands. I thought it would be cute if Madeline, the new baby, and I wore matching headbands on our way home from the hospital. 

Bed Rest Stress

Let me begin by saying how I got into this situation of being on bed rest. On Saturday I went to the bathroom after waking up in the morning and when I wiped there was bright red blood on the toilet paper. I was NOT expecting that. I had also been having some pretty bad dull back pain in my lower back. I called my doctors which were out of the office so it automatically sent my call to the on-call nurse who told me to get my fanny to the hospital. When I got there they hooked me up to monitors which showed that the baby's heartbeat was perfect, but that I was having some regular contractions. After a few hours at the hospital and after they checked me--super uncomfortable--my contractions slowed down to almost a complete stop. 

They sent me home after making an appointment with my doctor to see me on Wednesday putting me on strict bed rest until then. I was back in the hospital the next morning with contractions having tried drinking water and taking a warm bath. No such luck for me. They kept me for the day and administered Terbutalin which stops labor. After an hour of monitoring me on the "terb" they sent me home. I was back in the hospital the following night with contractions. They did not really do anything that night except monitor me. It was a little frustrating because it seemed that the nurse did not believe me. She said "you know, sometimes what we think are contractions are really just lower back pain from having more weight up front, plus the curvature on your spine." I was like "girl, I have experienced contractions before, and they wouldn't have given my "terb" yesterday if I hadn't been having contractions." Whatev. I went home that night since they wouldn't keep me over night, and stayed home Tuesday night since I knew they would probably just send me home and I had a rough night sleep. Tossing. Turning. 

Well, my doctor's appointment was scheduled for Wednesday afternoon. Today. So, when I went in they checked me again and I was 1cm dilated. I had been sitting on bed rest..doing nothing. I was doing nothing and my body STILL decides to dilate. They hooked me up to the same monitors they hooked me up to in the hospital. They saw some contractions and since I told them I could feel the contractions when they were seeing them on the monitor (which was not facing me) they decided to do an ultrasound to check the status of my cervix (is it thinning). They saw that it was thinning and also that baby girl is in the head down position ready to exit. Silly girl. I'm not letting her out any time soon! Now they have me on bed rest until April 21st when I reach 34 weeks and some pills I have to take twice a day. 

It is going to be a long six weeks.

They want to see me once a week plus I get some extra ultrasounds. 

I have been stressed about student teaching. Will I actually graduate? Will I get my diploma? It is only one month away. How could this happen one month away from my goal?! Whatever the reason, the school will figure out what they need to do with me so that I can pass. My faculty mentor told me not to think about student teaching right now--to focus on my family, my daughter, and my pregnancy. He was so kind and I cried. I just needed this little grace, and now I feel like I have everyone's support. Now my only problem is...what am I going to do on bed rest  for six weeks? 

All About Madeline

Madeline is two. Dos. 2. 1+1. Dy. Time has flown by these last couple of years and I feel absolutely privileged and blessed to be her mama. A few details about her life so far:

Born on March 2, 2012 weighing in at 6.11lbs at 5:23am a very purple Madeline came rearing into this world with her toes spread wide apart and a cute little cry that stopped when they set her on my chest. She knew her mama from the beginning. We had a list of names for her, but none fit her round little face and red little hairs. She went without a name for two days, but we found one: Madeline Neve. Madeline--because I used to love the book and movie with the cute little girls in two straight lines. Of course, our Madeline isn't the smallest one like the little Madeline from the books. She was 21" fully stretched out! We pronounce her name Mad-e-lyn, even though I prefer Mad-e-line. But it was a compromise we made to get our little girl a name. Neve means radiance which I thought was fitting for our little ray of sunshine.

When she started eating solids she hated pears, and still hates them. I guess texture is a big thing to her, which isn't surprising because a few of her aunts and uncles (namely Aunt Alicia) hate gritty and slimy things even if the taste is good.

Her first word was "more" in both baby-sign and verbally which is very fitting since she has been eating non- stop since birth. I blame it on a fast metabolism because that little girl has no cute little baby rolls; just long legs and round cheeks.

At 8 months old, Madeline started crawling and the only thing that motivated her was, of course, food.

Her first steps took place at 13 months in my parents' rental in California because it only had hardwood flooring which hurt her knees so she decided to start walking.

She is skilled with small motor movements like drawing and began holding a pencil the correct way pretty much at 14ish months. I think she skipped the whole palm grasp stage, but she does hold a fork like that sometimes.

Her first "boyfriend" was David. He was such a chunky baby, but he kissed Maddy at least 5 times on their first playdate. Her most recent boyfriend is a boy named Aiden. They are trouble-makers but cute together. At the last ward party they escaped the gym and we found them in the kitchen washing dishes together--they had pulled two chairs to the sink and were standing on them.

Cute things:

• Sometimes if I am laying on the couch she slips her favorite blanket (the duck one her Manga/Grandma Lisa made for her) over my legs.
• She calls a sandwich an "on-wich" and I can't decide where she is hearing that sound /on/ from. 
• She knows that Sampson is not allowed to run in the house and sometimes when he does she says "Sampson, stop it. Shush." It cracks me up every time because she is very serious at him, but then she'll tuck him in with her blanket if he is sleeping by the couch. 
• She is obsessed with brushing her teeth.
• She loves animals--especially dogs, fish, monkeys, elephants, and horses. We got her little plastic figurines of animals for Christmas and she takes at least two of them anywhere we go, along with her blanket.
• Sometimes she grabs our fingers and guides us to her closet or under the kitchen table to play. Last Sunday I couldn't find her at all but then I heard her giggling from my closet where she decided to play a round of hide-and-seek without letting my know first. 
• Whenever I do my nails she waits for me to put some on her nails. Depending on if she is feeling patient or not she will wait to have her whole hand done or just stand for one finger.
• She loves riding on her papa's back like a horse.
• She likes to color.
• She has to be eating what we are eating or something very similar.
• She walks better in heals than I do and she has an early fascination with shoes of all kinds--especially boots.
• She knows the letter M and the shapes heart, circle, square, triangle, cylinder, and star. 
• Sometimes she takes herself to bed at night and then we follow her to do our nightly prayers and kisses. 
• Her favorite show ever is Little Einsteins which drives Marcus and me nuts! But we love her so much that she gets to watch it if she says please. 

Fun pictures:

Madeline went from such a small bean to...

...such a tall little sassy and spirited little girl with teeth and long curly red locks of hair. What a beauty. 

Coloring is a regular activity for Madeline and she sometimes assigns pictures names like "hearts" even though they all look like scribbles.

She always puts socks on her hands...it's weird and I don't understand why except that we have mittens for her and maybe that's where the idea came from. 

You can see the socks better in this photo. Plus she is smiling all cute. 

Papa and Maddy cooking some banana pancakes before I leave for school. I wish I could stay. 

She put the head band on all by herself and then she wanted to show me her drawing. She doesn't get the concept of "smile for the camera" even though she sometimes says "cheese." 

A Forgotten Post. Whoops. From Feb 14, 2014.

Today for Valentine's Day, I made those french toast stacks with Nutella and strawberries. It was sugary in a good way. Then for lunch Marcus made a cute heart-shaped cheeseburger and fries with a little tomato rose as a decoration. I loved it.

Madeline got some candy hearts and has been pretty relaxed all day. Today is probably my favorite day of the week because I don't have school and we've had good food! :) The only negative I can think of is I have a final to take for my Children's Lit class at 4pm. I have to pass or I don't pass the course. If I don't pass the course I don't graduate. It's a little stressful, but I have been studying, so I am hoping I do well. 

Sundays and Cute Dresses

I have been feeling it difficult to find appropriate Sunday activities that keep Madeline entertained. I mean, "appropriate" is a personal decision, but I feel we need activities that uplift and encourage us to be better and more religious...if that makes sense. We have been in the habit of watching television and being couch potatoes. Today, though, we have hymns playing on the Mormon Tabernacle Choir Pandora channel. It is a nice way to have the spirit in our home. I found a list on lds.org but none of the items are quite child-friendly except reading a book or visiting friends/family. Here is the list:

1. Read the scriptures, conference reports, and Church publications.
2. Study the lives and teachings of the prophets.
3. Prepare Church lessons and other Church assignments.
4. Write in journals.
5. Pray and meditate.
6. Write to or visit relatives and friends.
7. Write to missionaries (friends, family members, ward members).
8. Enjoy uplifting music.
9. Participate in family gospel instruction.
10. Hold family council meetings.
11. Read with a child.
12. Do family history research, including filling out pedigree charts and
writing in family or personal histories.
13. Sing Church hymns.
14. Read uplifting literature.
15. Develop an appreciation for the cultural arts.
16. Plan family home evening study and activities.
17. Plan other family activities.
18. Friendship nonmembers.
19. Fellowship neighbors.
20. Visit the sick, the aged, and the lonely

So, this list seems good. I think playing with my children will be added to the list since children just need to play.

We put ALL of her clips in her hair because she found where I keep them. She was feeling extra pretty.

Marcus' Aunt Cheryl gave us three super cute dresses for Madeline. This is just one. They are from Zulily.com 

Marcus gave me a manicure using teal and black crackle nail polish. He did a pretty good job. 

How can I not be in love?! 

Look at that outfit! :)