DO NOT READ IF... you are sensitive to graphic details. Labor is painful and yucky. I didn't leave many of the details out. Just a warning.
I left the house at 3:30ish AM after having mild and constant contractions for an hour. I had to make sure I was going into labor before I woke up Marcus. He had work in the morning, and I didn't want him to be tired if I wasn't actually having the baby. So, I spent that hour packing a hospital bag and preparing to being our daughter home.
My labor progressed really quickly. I was about 4 centimeters dilated when I went to the hospital. (And I had been since I went into preterm labor on the 14th.) At this time, my contractions weren't very painful...yet. They had me go to this little room to monitor the baby's heartbeat and her movements and my contractions for about twenty minutes. Then my contractions started to become unbearable. I wanted to get an epidural really bad, but they said I couldn't get one until I was further along. I asked them if I could go walk around because the contractions didn't hurt as much when I was moving and standing, but they still wanted to monitor me which I thought was annoying because I just didn't want to be in pain any more; they weren't giving me drugs, and they weren't letting me walk around. I was so frustrated. I guess I started screaming pretty loudly shortly after they said they wanted to monitor me longer because the nurse decided to let me go walk around. I walked in the secluded hospital corridors with my husband by my side for about half an hour. My contractions were very constant and I wanted to die. They were so painful. At times I felt like I couldn't even walk. I just wanted to pass out and never wake up. I sat down in a chair during one contraction and I ended up getting blood on it. I felt horrible, but the agony was extremely distracting and soon I didn't care that there was blood on the chair. I prayed during the next contraction that I would have strength to have the baby and that labor and delivery would be fast. I didn't know how long I could take the pain..I'm a ninny when it comes to hurting. I had to use the bathroom so I went back to the room and the nurse hooked me back up to the monitors. I laid in the bed for a little while and called my mom and asked her what to do about the pain and she talked me through a couple contractions. She kept me focused on my breathing instead of the pain. After I got off the phone with my mom, though, I lost my train of thought and could only focus on how much I was hurting. I started screaming. I am sure it sounded like I was being attacked and tortured...but it was just labor. I started to push which the nurse didn't like because my water hadn't yet broken. But my body was working by natural instinct I guess. I felt a huge bubble coming out of my birthing canal and I thought it was the baby's head. I asked Marcus and he looked and said that he didn't know what it was, but right as he was looking my water broke and I felt a little bit of relief, but that was really only the beginning. It turns out I was pushing the water sack out. The nurse checked how far along I was and I was fully dilated.
They moved me to the delivery room across the hall. I don't even remember walking there, but I know I did because I remember walking past the nurse station. They called the epidural guy, Michael, but I never had the chance of meeting him. Pretty much as soon as I laid down in that delivery room bed I was ready to push. They made me wait to push until the doctor arrived, though. Well, kinda... I was listening to my body and they told me to breath through the contractions and focus on the breathing, but I just wanted to push. So, I started to push on my own accord and right when I started to my doctor walked in. He said, "well, you progressed fast!" I just started screaming though because of the pain. (Side NOTE: ladies, go to prenatal classes and learn how to manage your pain because it is not fun having a sore throat from all the screaming.) Marcus wanted to hold my hand and comfort me, but his hands are so big and the nurse's were so little and easy to hold. I told Marc that I didn't want him to touch me. I just didn't like being touched...looking back I wish he had been sweeping his hand across my forehead to calm me down a little. He was a goof sport though and stood by my side and held my leg in position.
Four pushes later Madeline was born. She came out with her feet in the air and her toes spread far apart, like a little monkey. She was all purple, and I could tell that her hair was tinted red which I am really excited about. It is little gift from my brother David, I think. She had a healthy cry. I was so happy to be done with pushing her out. My labor only lasted 3.5 hours. It started at 2am and ended at 5:20ish AM. My water broke and twenty minutes later my baby was born.
The doctor waited to get the afterbirth which came within five minutes after she was born. I felt such relief when everything was out of my body...mostly everything anyways. Apparently your body continues to get rid of pregnancy stuff for about 6 weeks after the birth.
After that the doctor injected numbing liquid down in lady town. Apparently I ripped a little bit while the baby's head was coming out. He stitched the rip and I was officially done with things coming out of there.
I thought the pain was all over, but only the intense pain of labor was. This week has been difficult for me. The area where my body ripped hurts so much. They gave me drugs to cope with the pain, but when I stand up or sit down I am in agony. It also really hurts to go to the bathroom. They gave me this douche-like thing that I could fill with water to clean myself because I am not allowed to wipe due to the stitches.
Since birth I have only secreted four times. And it hurts so much when I do.
Anyways, There is the story but just know that I LOVE daughter. Hearing her coos and sighs and seeing her eyes open and close makes everything worth it. I am so grateful for Heavenly Father and that he gave me the opportunity to be someone's mother. She is an angel sent from Him. I am also grateful that Jesus experienced every pain we ever had or will have. He is the only man that will ever know how to empathize with a woman about labor.
It took about a day to come up with our daughter's name. I left the list of possibilities at home, but it turns out she didn't look like any of the names on the list anyways. I was thinking and thought of the name Madeline. One we decided she was definitely a Madeline (Maddy for short) we had a difficult time coming up with a middle name. I searched the internet while laying on my hospital bed. I found this middle-name-generator at babynamegenie.com which gave me awful results like Madeline Cynthia Thackeray and Madeline Marley Thackeray. Those middle names sound horrible with Madeline. So, I looked up "middle names" in a google search. There was a website that said cool middle names so I clicked it. It was probably the first link that came up after the genie website. They listed some awesome choices like: Brynn and Reese but none of them clicked with us. Then I came across the name Neve (n-ee-v). I liked it. So, I looked up the meaning which is:
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