Workout Jams, Missing Myself, 30 Day Challenge, and Other Stuff.

1. Today I was exercising to some awesome workout jams on my husband's phone while Faye took her nap and Maddy watched Buddies on Netflix. I was riding my exercise bike and throwing out some pretty sweet dance moves with my upper body. I wonder what I looked like and hope it didn't look like I was insane to someone looking in from the outside. The next thing I know *thump* Madeline tried climbing over the back of the couch but fell off instead. It probably scared her more than hurt her. I really wanted to be so mad at her for climbing over the back of the couch because I've told her a thousand times that it' not safe and that she can get hurt but I couldn't be because about ten minutes later she was climbing over the couch again. The fact that she wanted to try it again to prove to herself that she in fact *could* do it without falling off was a bit inspiring. However, I don't care for her disobedience one bit. I am wander-struck that when we fail we can pick ourselves back up and do it again and again--no matter how many times it takes to get it right.

2. Jesus allows us to make those mistakes and get back on track. My hero.

3. I felt a piece of myself that I have missed while I was working out to music. I mean, I felt like that 17-year-old girl ready to shake her booty to some sweet melodies and make friends in the process. Only this time I was making friends with myself again. "Hi self, I have missed you."

4. I'm giving myself a 30 day challenge of working out every day (minus Sundays). I have been increasing my level of activity gradually since January because my resolution has been to intentionally exercise a few times a week. I am slowly feeling my body gain strength. I'm still a tired mama, but at least I have goals and that is making all the difference in my countenance.

5. My Grandpa Ted died last night. It feels weird, but still like a total loss. I feel sad. I mean...I feel sad for him. He never joined the fold again. I lost touch with him so I am not really even sure if he was trying to come back even with baby steps. He left my grandma and children when my dad was about 19 years old. It left my dad with a huge responsibility to help with his siblings. I admire my dad for that and I know that experience helped him to become the man he is now. I'm not really sure of all the details because my dad never really talks about it. But I still have fond memories going to my grandpa's house for Thanksgiving celebrations and visiting the rocky beach of Oceanside. I loved his little Kumquat tree in the back yard. He didn't have a lot of child-friendly things at his house but it gave us a time to play outdoors and feel the breeze and misty air. Anyways, I am glad he is no longer in pain from his cancer (although he died of two heart attacks).

6. One thing that Marcus and I find challenging is knowing when exactly to add sheep to our little flock. The next time we get pregnant we will know because of the same process--prayer and temple attendance. In Rexburg the temple was a few blocks away. Here the temple is 2 hours away. We haven't been to the temple yet, but we are renewing our recommends this week to hopefully attend this month. It will definitely be a lengthier process because of the distance.

Faye likes to climb under everything. This is the coffee table ottoman. 

Marcus wanted to take a duck face selfie, so we did. 

I can't get enough of this picture.

Madeline tried some Misso Soup. She loved it. Marcus and I did not. 

This girl!

She started drinking out of the sippy a couple of weeks ago out of nowhere. She's growing up so quickly!

This is Faye's friend James.

This is Madeline's best friend Ethan. They love hanging out. It's a good thing their moms get along, too! :)

Madeline got her purse and was ready to go to work; just like Papa. 

I felt pretty and put on some makeup. 

Allergies, Bowling, and Cute Girls.

1. After every storm I get an allergy attack. It is terrible, but now that I've caught on to the rhythm that my body and mother nature roll to, I will just take my meds the night of a storm.

2. We went bowling as a family today. It was wonderful! We only ever play one game because when you have a three year old and a great big world nothing entertains for long. I broke 100 which is a huge deal for me. The little family we were playing next to were really good, but the man was super passionate and intense. The little girl said she wasn't having fun and he grabbed her and got in her face and said "if you try it would be fun." It was mean in my opinion and she, as a 7-year-old, had already broken 100. I am glad I know it is just a game. Maddy was having fun and so were we.

3. Monday was Madeline's third birthday. She is my best friend. I am still her mom and I set the boundaries, but we are very close and we snuggle on and off all day long.

4. I have a goal to lose 30 pounds by September, but it seems more difficult than I had hoped. I have only lost five pounds and it looks like I have already plateaued. Marcus and I are doing only salads next week. It is a trial run. But I know if you only eat vegies the pounds will shed off. I want it to be the push my body needs. Plus, we got an exercise bike and it should arrive next week sometime. Here's to health!

5. Here's a cute video of my girls:   

6. We decorated Madeline's room (which will soon be the girl's shared room when my sister in law gets here in the summer) for her birthday. It has everything she loves (minus dogs). Here are some pictures: 

These butterflies were easy but time consuming. It only cost $1 for the poster board and we used tape and crayons to make the pops of color. So easy and such a great effect. 

Marcus made the bed. I am proud of him and so is he :) 

7. I want to make plans for a vacation. I am getting bored from the day-to-day things we do. It's time. We've been here long enough that I feel comfortable with a weekend trip. We will see! If you have any ideas, let me know! I want it to be relatively cheap, but still fun for the whole family.

That's everything up to date. We are happy and everything is good for the most part. <3 nbsp="" p="">

Mom-hard-days.

It's difficult to find a minute to write these days.

Children screaming.

Dishes piled in the sink.

Food that needs to be prepared.

Laundry to fold

--lots of laundry.

Noses to blow.

Diapers to change.

Nails to clip.

-deep breath-

Bills to pay.

Errands to run.

Medicine to take.

Medicine to give.

The trash is full.

The dog needs to pee.

Arguments debated.

-sigh-

Hugs to give.

Kisses blown.

"I love you's" whispered.

It's busy. 

It's chaotic.

But there is still good.

Things that have happened/random thoughts:

Madeline told me she wanted to fly the other day. I looked at her, not wanting to ruin her dreams, and said "you don't have wings, baby." She looked at me and ran upstairs. Three minutes later she was back in front of me wearing her dress-up butterfly fairy wings. She proved me wrong. She DOES have wings. 

This morning Faye was crying in the kitchen for no apparent reason. Madeline said, "I want to help her." But she just kept crying. I put her to bed because she was tired. Madeline cares so much for her baby sister.

I feel ugly. Sometimes just so ugly. I don't really have time for myself and lately the house has been sick. But I look at all the pretty moms that ARE gorgeous for what seems like all the time. Sometimes I feel like my outward appearance doesn't reflect the beauty I know is within. I do think women have the right to be beautiful whenever, though. Like, they shouldn't feel guilty for looking pretty. But why am I so hard on myself for not doing my hair, and not doing my makeup, and not having a REAL outfit aside from yoga pants and tshirts?

Someone should create a tshirt bra combination. 

I strained a muscle in my neck so I went to the ER and they prescribed some pain killers. But they rushed me through and did not really care about diagnosing the cause. I suppose that all ER's are like that according to my mom and husband. So, I went to the doctor and she told me the cause is this: stress and fatigue from not sleeping. She recommended massage therapy (which insurance does not cover) and Marcus and I switching who stays up with Faye at night. I can't bear to have Marcus stay up though because he works all day and really needs to be on his game...mind-wise. But The doctor DID recommend it. 

I feel so guilty about not being able to keep up on housework. I feel like a lazy person. But I am so tired. 

We did our taxes and having a second baby gave us a bigger return than we ever expected. 

There was poop all over the toilet downstairs this morning. Madeline tried to go by herself. It's a happy mom-moment, but also a horrific one where I am the one who has to clean it. At least she tried. 

I don't know how to become close friends with people anymore. It's like all this business has caused me to exhaustion and no time for anything else.

I NEED to take time for myself. How do you do that?

People have been posting blogs about postpartum depression and anxiety. I think I have that. I'm not crying all the time but I know I am not myself. I get so upset at my baby for not letting me sleep. I haven't slept for almost 9 months. It's getting to me. I know she will eventually, but for now...I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel. I love her. I love her laughs and I miss her when she's asleep during nap times. But I know she is 90% of the reason for me not sleeping at night. 

Madeline loves to wear dresses. 

Marcus has Valentine's weekend off. I hope we do something wonderful. :) 

All Hallow's Eve!

To begin our Halloween festivities we went to our church Halloween party and trunk-or-treat. I was a tiger, Madeline was a lion, and Faye was a cute little bear. Marcus was our zoo keeper. I got all our costumes for under $50! 

Madeline learned how to say "trick-or-treat" which she picked up on fast because she knew it meant getting candy in her bag.

At 6 o'clock we started our trick-or-treating in our new family-friendly neighborhood. There are TONS of children here and they are pretty cute. Madeline got a whole bag full of candy which is funny because I think we spent more money on buying candy for other people for Halloween. But I guess that's how it goes when you're the home owners. 

Anyways, this year's Halloween was great and fun. 

When Everything Is Goin' Wrong Don't Worry, It Won't Last For Long

This week I began two new challenging tasks.

1. Sleep training for Faye.
2. Working out.

The first task has been a remarkable success! Faye has gone from waking up every 2 hours to waking up once at night at 3:30am to feed and she goes right back to sleep. Here is what has worked for me:

• First, move your baby to her own room. I think being so close may affect them while they sleep because a mama's smell is so stimulating for little babies.
• Next, give your baby one last feeding at night when they start getting fussy. (Faye usually starts around 8pm). 
• Put your baby in their crib.
• Leave the room.
• When the baby starts crying, begin a timer for 10 minutes. Do NOT go into the room before the time is up. Sleeping on their own is a skill that they need to learn. 
• After 10 minutes is up then go into their room and pat their back and give them their pacifier if they take one. Do NOT say anything. Just give them the physical reassurance that you are there. Stay for 1 minute. Only 1 minute. 
• After the 1 minute leave. If the baby starts to cry again, start the timer for another 10 minutes. 
• Continue this process until she is asleep. (For Faye it has been going in 3 times, but the first night it usually takes a lot longer). 

This has really been an amazing process for us. I feel more energetic and happier, and even felt like I could being working out to work off my baby weight, and to get fit. 

The second task is still a work in progress. I am in really terrible shape. The bed rest I was on really stressed my body out. I want to be fit before we get pregnant with our next baby which won't be for at least a year, but it'll probably take me that long to be where I want to be. I have been using my Zumba DVD's. I have pretty much ZERO stamina. It is a bit embarrassing, but it starts with baby steps. So, for the past two days I have only had the energy to work out for 5 minutes, and then do stretches for another five minutes. But at least that is something, right? Anyways, I am proud of myself. I usually find time to do it after I put Faye down for her morning nap around 9am. 

Also, I go up and down the stairs a bagillion times a day, so that has to count for something too, right?

Our Journey to a New Place AND Our New Home!

The monotony of the days seems to ring like a pitter patter of the rain. And then suddenly I have to pack up and go. Pick up the floor. Do the dishes. Take out the trash. Change another diaper. Pack the clothes...and don't forget the diapers. We need diapers. Lots of diapers.

Every day is errands and taking care of children, and that has been my dream job since...forever. My goodness it is hard work. But then I get this:

 AND this:

"Look Mama, a temple!"

And I sigh in great gratitude because I am grateful for what I have. My children need me. Goodness they are so needy. But...I need them too.

The last couple of months has been one of the most trialing times in my life. We moved across the country with our children and dog. Why didn't we just fly? The drive was insanely long and my young Faye cant handle life without her Mama for two whole seconds. She was a mess the whole ride out. 

Before we left our rental company told us we hadn't left a months notice that we were moving so we had to pay for another month of rent. I left the check and this note:

 

That way they KNEW we weren't paying for another month. I took a picture in case they said we didn't notify them again. 

On the way we got held up in Utah waiting for the military to get it together and schedule Marcus' commissioning. Thankfully we were hosted by one of my best friends, Caroline. Even though she wasn't at her home--we still had a good time, and her brother-in-law, Bruce, was a great host when he came home from work. He and Marcus played Halo. Men. 

This is a picture of Caroline, Lauren, and Bruce's dogs and my Sampson. They wanted to come in so much... but those dogs are crazy! 

 

The next leg of our journey took us to Melanie in Texas. We made a wrong turn. One wrong turn. We ended up going across the tops of the Rockies...with a 2 month old. It was probably the worst thing, aside from an accident, that could have happened to us. But we made it. 

The sun was so bright. But at least breakfast was delicious at Cracker Barrel. Mmm. 

After we left Melanie, I longed for her companionship all over again. I miss her. My sister. My twin. I've had her my whole life and being separated by this distance stinks. Maybe Marcus will end up going to grad school in Texas. We wouldn't mind. 

The rest of the journey was boring, but we did get to stay with my Aunt Becky for a week, and it was great to see her in the glory of motherhood. She's a good mom, and a good person. 

When we finally got to South Carolina we went house hunting, got sick--all of us, bought a house, and sent Marcus off to Officer Development School in Rhode Island. -sigh-

Then we moved into our new house without my husband. Thank goodness for members of our local congregation because I don't know what I would have done with my children or my still-recovering-from-bed-rest body. 

And now the long-awaited picture of our home. Drum roll, please!

These were the cheapest and also the most awesome dishes for sale! They are microwave, dishwasher, and child-safe! My dream dish-set. haha. 

Pay no attention to the backsplash. I hate it and am going to replace it in time. For now, look how cute this little chicken is! 

Marcus sent me flowers while he's been at ODS and I took a picture for him. I was painting our room that day. I thought this was a good picture of what the kitchen looks like from the dining room. 

This is my newly painted room. It was a TON of work to do two colors and horizontal lines, but it turned out great. I am not posting a finished product of the room though because I want Marcus to be the first to see it since I completed it for when he comes home!

There is the front view and we need to get gutters but other then that the outside of the house is pretty set. It even already had a privacy fence which the previous owners installed because of alligators which occasionally find their way to the canal/pond behind our home. Yay for fences!

Here is the kitchen. I LOVE it. We are going to be updating it with new counter tops and hardwood flooring all downstairs. The fridge is practically brand new and we got it when the fridge we ordered showed up and it WASN'T the fridge we ordered. 

So, there are a few pictures for you curious people. :) I wanted to post a few pictures of Marcus that he sent me while he's been gone. I miss him like crazy and I hate feeling incomplete. There are also random pictures we've been taking here at home.

His first uniform and it cost an arm and a leg. 

What a handsome mister!

The beaches here are super hard but super warm. 

My best friend. 

Reaching for things. 

She had a pony tail on her arm and decided it needed to be accessorized with her princess horses. She is so creative!

A good moment for Uncle Tyler and Faye. haha

One of her favorite toys.

We went to this place called Monkey Joe's with our friend Laura and her daughter Hailey. This is Maddy sliding down the ginormous slide all by herself!

They were so cute and held hands for a little bit. 

Me being a mom :)

We went bowling for Madeline's first time and she did really well! She beat Uncle Tyler and by the end she even figured out that we are supposed to take turns. 

Madeline checks on Faye throughout the day. She is such a caring older sister.

These moments. :)

I have tired written all over my face, but I suppose it is the best reason to be tired.

Thanks for checking in! We are happy and surviving.