We Love Our Girl

This semester has been pretty difficult. I am taking a practicum course which is a lab and lecture. The lab is three hours long two days a week and then the seminar is on Mondays for two hours. It is such a time-consuming class. In this class, I work with toddlers. Let me tell you, they are a handful. Today, one child through a temper tantrum, and there was no consoling him. He threw himself on the ground and pounded his forehead into the tiles several times. None of us knew how to handle him. I wanted to put him on time-out in a corner. Apparently this is normal behavior for him at home as well. Anyways, it was a little stressful. The children are super cute, and for the most part, I LOVE working with them.

Little Madeline Monkey Poo is so frustrating sometimes. She is a little miracle, but she is so stubborn.... I wonder who she gets that from... lol. She also loves to stay awake even when she is exhausted. The more she learns, the more I fall in love with her. She is a sweetheart, even past the fussiness. She is discovering her hands more and more. She pushes the bottle away with her arms when he doesn't want to eat any more. She coos all the time. She smiled some more today, but I couldn't tell if it was on purpose. She smiles in her sleep all the time. It is adorable. I am excited for the day she smiles with intent. My monkey is growing so big. She weighs about 10 pounds now. Her face is filling out and so are her legs and arms.

I am still getting used to being "mom." She is completely reliant on me. Exciting, happy...weird. I love her so much. I love her cuddles. I love her soft skin. I love when she talks. I love when she accomplishes something. I just love her.

This last weekend we went to Utah. It was wonderful. We went down on Friday and dropped Maddy off with Anna, bless her heart. Then we went and stayed the night in a hotel. It was wonderful to have a night all to ourselves. We went to the spa, enjoyed a full night's sleep, and had a delicious breakfast in the morning (biscuits and gravy.) Of course, this was after we got lost for the billionth time in Provo.

I have been feeling so self-conscious lately; I gained ten pounds during my pregnancy, I don't have time to do my hair or makeup, and my stomach looks like I've had a baby. I miss my pre-pregnancy belly, but I do not regret having my baby. She is the best decision I have ever made... I have never felt so much love completely and unconditionally as I do for my daughter. Now, when sad things happen to children in movies/tv shows, Marcus and I always end up crying because we just love our baby so much. If anything happened to her we would be heartbroken. I can just feel my heart aching in a way it never has before. I think I understand my parents' pain a little more when David and Marisa died. They were my siblings. That's something, but they were my mom and dad's babies. Heavenly Father must love us all so much to give up his son for us. Jesus Christ. He is the best thing that we can accept in our lives. He made an atonement for us, and we can choose to accept it or not... but that doesn't change the fact that he already did it; suffered on the cross and in Gethsemane.

I love my family.

Marcus is a good dad. He is still a little immature at times... but I think that's just the kid in him. I love that about him. I love seeing Marcus interact with our daughter. He plays with her in ways that I would never play with her, but she likes it. He loves her. I love seeing my husband love someone as much as he loves me...maybe even a little bit more. :)