Lisa's Birthstory

Our pregnancy with Lisa was the hardest and most challenging trial we have faced in our marriage. It's been so hard. But this face, and these fingers and toes, and cute little nose made it worth it.

Two days before I reached 33 weeks I went back to the hospital because I had been having constant contractions. When we walked through the Labor and Delivery room doors we got a warm welcome: What are you guys doing back here? At least you're 32 weeks now! 

They knew us well. 

They did all the usual checks; blood pressure, monitoring baby heartbeat, monitoring contractions, etc. I mentioned that I had felt a bit damp the day before so my nurse Chrystal did a swab of my cervix. Another nurse came in and was an inch away from poking me with Terbutaline to stop the contractions when Crystal read off the positive test result for amniotic fluid. My waters were leaking. The nurse put down the needle and they moved me to a delivery room. I sat there for the next two days trying to keep my sweet girl in for as long as possible. The contractions started getting more intense so I got an epidural. I was 6 cm. A couple hours later I got my nurse to come in because I wanted to be checked. She asked if it felt like I was having pressure. And I said no, but that it felt like someone's finger was on my butt hole which apparently is common with epidurals. She looked and suddenly there were two more nurses and the lady doctor on shift (Dr. Smith), and they called in two more nurses from the NICU to take Baby Girl away after she was born. I was a little out of it, but Marcus said he could tell by the look on the nurse's face that they were concerned about something. Apparently I was birthing large blood clots. (We found out nothing about those, but everything seems to be fine now.) 

The anesthesiologist giving me my epidural.

My feet are very narrow and skinny so it may be difficult to tell, but the epidural made my feet swollen...and numb obviously.

Push.

Push.

Push.

Baby Girl came out crying with her foot next to her full head of hair...maybe we should put her in gymnastics.. It was Sunday March 6, 2016 at 2:50am. She was 5lbs 2oz and 20 inches long. I got to see her for 20 seconds before they took off with her to put tubes and cords on her. They tried to get me to hand express some milk right away to stimulate my milk production. I tried a little but then I felt so drained. I wanted to sleep for days. After 10 weeks on bed rest and going in and out of the hospital I was exhausted. 

When I woke up from a two hour nap they wanted to move me to the postpartum wing. Once I stood up I wanted to puke and my head was in so much pain. A few hours later it was determined that I had a spinal headache. The only thing I can compare this headache to on the pain scale is natural childbirth (I had an unmedicated birth with Madeline). Like...would I rather give birth without meds OR get an epidural and have a spinal headache? I think if we have another biological child, we will forgo an epidural. The spinal headache lasted 10 days. My labors last a couple hours. I can handle a couple hours of intense pain. 10 days of nonfunctionability (is that even a word?) isn't worth it. 

They got me in the next day to have a Blood Patch which is supposed to stop the spinal fluid from leaking out since blood clots and forms and creates a Bandaid effect. The patch worked for about a day. I went in to see my girl for the first time really. While there we named her and the nurse on duty let me put her on my chest. She was so tiny. I started to cry because I tried my best to hold her in as long as I could and she still came early. I hated that she had to be there with all the cords. I felt like it was my fault and my heart was breaking not being able to snuggle her newborn body all the time. 

Lisa stayed in the NICU for 21 long days. I went every day after my spinal headache went away. Those days I couldn't go were torture. I cried my eyes out multiple times a day. Marcus was definitely my rock during these days. It didn't seem to affect him the same way it did me. He loves his children but let's be honest...he's not the mama. I yearned to have this little tiny baby that we created in my arms and in our home. The day we brought her home was such a happy surprise. When we came in to visit her the doctor came over to talk with us and said "well, we don't really see any need to keep her here. There's nothing more we can do for her here that you can't do for her at home." So we left her there and picked the girls up from church and went shopping for supplies. We didn't have anything like a bassinet and other items since we didn't know when she would be coming home...and having them there while she was in the NICU would just remind me she wasn't where we wanted her. After that we went back to the hospital and picked her up with the freshly laundered car seat and blankets and her coming home outfit. Madeline was especially excited because she had been waiting nearly a month for this sweet baby to sleep at our house. It was an incredibly long day. And after she was home Faye started puking. My bedroom was quarantined and Marcus went to work the Tuesday after that and so I was left home alone for the first time with three children. Two were vomiting. And I had a newborn. It was so hard. I caught the bug a week later and could not get out of bed. It was so bad. But the senior missionary couple came over and helped watch the children while I was in bed. They were such a blessing. My parents arrived the next day, and then I got better. 

Other pictures that fall into the story:

The girls came and visited while we were still in the hospital.

Marcus cuddled and visited this sweet girl while I couldn't.

She was so small Marcus' hand was bigger than her whole head!

Our first family photo without the sisters.

Tiny feet!

Lisa Christine is a beautiful, sweet gift. We are grateful to have her in our lives.

Spewing Thoughts on this Pregnancy

This pregnancy has been the most difficult one for me. I'm trying to understand what is going on. Why did I go into preterm labor at 23 weeks as opposed to 26 weeks with Faye? Why do I go into preterm labor at all? It's frustrating and I am exhausted physically and emotionally. I am trying to be a good sport about this whole thing, but my body is achy and tired. Can you imagine your body contracting for 8 weeks? 8 weeks. That is how long I've been on bed rest unable to care for my children the way I want to. That is how long my muscles have been deteriorating. That is how long I have been fighting to keep this baby growing in my uterus. It has been a loooooong fight. And we're still going. Every day I cross off means she will be a little bit healthier at birth.

I know there are plenty of parents who do not get to bring their babies home with them right away from the hospital or even...at all. I'm grateful I hit a healthy milestone and know that if this girl decided now was the time she would spend time in the NICU but she would come home in a month. I just really want to leave the hospital with our baby. I don't want to be one of those parents. I pray for those that are. It is a tough battle.

I have been really fortunate to have wonderful friends and family praying for me and our little girl. People ask about us all the time and how we are doing. Marcus finally hit the limit of questions at work last week though. When so many people ask how things are going, and frankly they suck, he tries to be kind but he doesn't want to talk about it. He is exhausted too. We've been in and out of the hospital 7 times now. I wish they would just keep me. They won't because after a few days there my contractions get under control and it seems as though everything is calm. So, on paper, I don't need to be there. Insurance only cares what it looks like on paper. They have to send me home. If I lived in the middle of nowhere they would keep me, but my local hospital is only 15 minutes away, and the specialized hospital for premies is 40 minutes away. Anyways, all the driving and finding people to cover his shift, and trying to figure out how to still be a good father has been difficult for him. My mother-in-law flew in to help which has been such a blessing. The last two trips to the hospital she was here and we didn't have to worry about leaving at night and what we would do with the girls. Since she was here we were able to just grab my hospital bag and go. But she is leaving this week. And Marcus has his night shift and 24 hour shift and I am nervous. I don't like being left alone...because...what if? I get caught up in my mind with things that could go wrong while Marcus is away for so long. I'm sitting at 3cm and when I get to 4-5cm my body progresses quickly. With both my girls they came within 2 hours of regular contractions/my water breaking.

I wish I had kept count of how many needles have stung me this pregnancy. It's been a LOT. I have bruised arms and legs. And now that I have been diagnosed with Gestational Diabetes (the least of my worries) I prick myself (it's scary for me every time) 4x a day.

We're so fatigued from trying to be strong for so long. We need those around us to help carry this load. And we are being helped. We are so grateful. But it may seem like we are not but we're just tired. Really tired. Just know we appreciate everything that has been done for us and on our behalf. We are grateful for all the prayers. We are grateful for the meals. We are grateful for the thoughts. We are grateful.

The first time we went to  the hospital I was put on Magnesium Sulfate and after three days my feet got so swollen.

This IV bruised so badly. I haven't had this one for two weeks, but there is still a nasty bruise. 

This was a shower day. Woo!

I love when I get to goof with Maddy. She brings such a light to my heart. 

They were finally able to visit me in the hospital and I was so happy. 

Marcus tries to make our room more lively and beautiful by bringing home flowers. <3 td="">

I miss being a good mom. 

I have picked up crocheting but only the single stitch. I want to finish this blanket for the baby before she comes!

This was how we spent Valentine's day.

29 weeks.

Sorry it's upside down. But this is how they monitor the baby's heart rate and my contractions whenever I go to the hospital. Sometimes I have to try and sleep with all these things hooked up to me including an IV and pulse monitor.

My most recent hospital stay. Thankfully they were able to stop the contractions with flluids, and terbutaline. No Mag! Yay.

He has gotten used to sleeping in these hospital chair-beds. They fold out further, but he was so tired.

This IV was the MOST painful one ever. The nurse learned how to do IV's on a different system so she is still learning how to work these and it gushed blood and bruised and hurt just sitting there. The hand IV's are also the most sensitive spot. But, I have good veins there. 

Pregnancy Survey:

How far along? 31 weeks

Total weight gain/loss: I am finally back up at prepregnancy weight after my weight loss when I was put on Magnesium Sulfate the first time.
Sleep: I sleep long and hard these days.
Best moment this week: Coming home from the hospital and seeing my girls.
Food cravings: A Blizzard, Sour Cream and Onion Lays Chips, Stuffed French Toast, etc.
Anything making you queasy or sick: Sometimes I just hate the smell of my husband's shampoo. But it's not every day. My meds also make me feel sick sometimes, but I need to keep these contractions under control.
Have you started to show yet: Yes!

Leakage: Noooo.
Gender prediction: It's a girl!
Wedding rings on or off? On.
Happy or Moody most of the time: Happy aside from when I get frustrated for being on bed rest or the trips to and from the hospital.
Milestones: Six more days until the big 32 week milestone, but "every day in is a week less in the NICU" as my doctor says.
Maternity clothes? If I get dressed. Lately I'm in nightgowns and hospital gowns.
Have you told family and friends: Yes! Everyone is excited.
Movement: She gets the hiccups at least once a day which is so meaningful to me because it means she is practicing her breathing or tasting what I've been eating.
Labor Signs: Yes. I have been losing the big mucus plug but it can regenerate so hopefully it keeps regenerating with all my water-drinking and bed rest.
Belly Button in or out? In when I am laying down or sitting. Out when I am out of bed, and based on where the baby is bunched up. 

22 Weeks Update

Pregnancy Survey:

How far along? 22 weeks
Total weight gain/loss: I am finally back up at prepregnancy weight after that first trimester.
Sleep: If I get woken up at night I have a difficult time falling asleep for a couple of hours. I also NEED a nap during the day.
Best moment this week: My friend Ashley dropped in to visit which I love.
Food cravings: Ice cream, anything chocolate (real chocolate not the cheap stuff).
Anything making you queasy or sick: I need to take it nice and slow when I walk anywhere or stand up. I get really exhausted and it feels like I am going to faint.
Have you started to show yet: Yes!

Leakage: Noooo.
Gender prediction: It's a girl!
Wedding rings on or off? On.
Happy or Moody most of the time: MOODY! I started taking the progesterone (p17) shots a couple of weeks ago and for the first few days after I am always an emotional wreck. Poor Marcus.
Weekly Wisdom: Sleep when the kids are down for a nap.
Milestones: Marcus FINALLY felt the baby move. My placenta is on top where my belly button is so it was difficult to feel any movements from the outside until this week!
Maternity clothes? Still wearing some from my last pregnancy...so comfortable and cute.
Have you told family and friends: Yes! Everyone is excited.
Movement: We have a rock and ROLL baby.
Labor Signs: Noooo. Wayyy too early!
Belly Button in or out? In.