Women to Admire: Joanna Gaines

I watch HGTV ALL the time. When I was on bed rest it was my favorite channel. Heck, when I was 12 years old it was my favorite channel. I have always dreamed of having my own house and making it my home with my husband and our children. I am experiencing that briefly in my life right now until we go back to grad school. Fixer Upper, a show about buying houses that need work but could be beautiful with some tender love and care, aired its first episode May 2013. It was a hit in my home. Marcus even watched it. The gregarious Chip Gaines with the laid back nature of Joanna Gaines just makes the show fun and easy to watch. They are an amazing power couple. So, I wanted to learn more about the people behind the camera, but more specifically the woman. How could she have such a demanding job and also be such an awesome homemaker, wife, and mother? 

Joanna Gaines. Her goal is to create "beautiful spaces where families are thriving."

Joanna with Chip

I read their book The Magnolia Story which tells a story of love, hard work, determination, and supporting each other through everything. 

Joanna Gaines to me is an almost perfect example of what it means to be patient with your spouse. When they were first married he moved her from house to house without her really being able to keep it as her own. That would be so hard for me to be uprooted every time I was starting to feel like the home I was making was coming together. She was always supportive though saying things like "maybe it's not that bad." They take problems and work through them together. Yes, she would yell occasionally, but when things happened they were already in the process of happening and she always quickly realized that there was nothing she could really do but to move forward with optimism and positivity. 

She has a great connection with God. She realizes when He is speaking to her. If you are not religious this connection can be described as listening to your heart, or those thoughts that seem to come out of nowhere. For her it was "that's the man you are going to marry" and "close your shop." These promptings have always led her to a better place and she has learned how to listen to them rather than fight them even when they were really hard to do. 

Jo sees things in their simple beauty. She says in her book:

The thing I found interesting was just how beautiful everything looked. The rust, the age, the weathering...those old abandoned barns...seemed to capture and reflect the beauty of the land and the air and the early summer scents in that beautiful corner of the world. Even the dust in those barns seemed to rise up on purpose, helping to illuminate those old forgotten spaces with streams of sunlight that crept through cracks in the wood. (page 31)

I wish I could see beauty in everything the way she does. It is such a gift. 

Like most people I think, Joanna went through a phase of figuring out who she was. While she was in her early 20's she went to NYC and was able to see a huge different mixture of cultures and it helped open her eyes to herself. She was always insecure that she was different because she was half Korean, but that experience helped her to start "owning who [she was], realizing that [she] was unique and that God had a unique purpose for [her]." Which helps me to feel like that is true for me, too. 

So, how does she do everything with 4 children? That has always been my biggest question. She explains that while she was trying to make things perfect she was missing out:

I looked around and saw a lot of "perfection," and I thought, But where do my kids sit? why don't the kids have a play space of their own anywhere in this house? Suddenly it hit me like a ton of bricks. In my nonstop efforts to make the house look good and to raise our baby of a business, I had failed to create a space where my children could thrive and be kids. I had neglected to create a home that my most important babies could love too.

So after that experience she realized that her home was also their home and that they should be happy and be able to play freely the way children do. This has helped me to realize that in my own life am I letting my children be children? Am I encouraging them to be creative, to figure things out?  I can definitely be better. My children are the reason I do so many things...but am I the reason that they can't? I don't want to be. 

As Joanna and Chip were building their business they put all their eggs in one basket and they got through it by faith. She says:

What I do know, looking back on it now, is that all of these big, life-changing things were right around the corner for us at that moment. And if we'd given up, if we'd walked away, if we'd crumbled when we were at our lowest, we never would have made it around the corner to see all of the blessings that were about to come due. 

So, even when things were looking bleak, they came together and worked harder and had faith that all would be well. And they were honest and had integrity the whole time. 

Other Quotes:

"If you can't find the happiness in the ugliness, you're not going to find it in the beauty, either."

"What is my intention behind these things?...Getting our intentions right simplifies our decisions in life and changes our perspective. And in the end, what it's all about is thankfulness and contentment."

"Now I make homemade cakes, I blow up balloons and we pop them. That's all. Kids just want to be kids. They don't obsess about all the details. What they might remember are all the silly faces mom makes when she blows up balloons and the taste of that homemade cake with sprinkles. That's what they'll remember. Not a picture-perfect party."

"Live wholly and intentionally for those closest to [you]." 

"There's something about doing things the way our ancestors used to do them that kind of puts your heart back into the rhythm of this thing called life." (Speaking of gardening and working with their animals).

"Sometimes you've got to try something outside of your comfort zone to figure out what it is you truly love." 

"Go and find what inspires you, go and find what it is that you love, and go do that until it hurts...Don't quit, and don't give up. The reward is just around the corner. And in times of doubt or times of joy, listen for that still, small voice. Know that God has been there from the beginning--and he will be there until...The End."

*side note: Another reason I love Joanna so much is that she feels the same way about her engagement ring that I do. My ring is small and there isn't much to it, but we picked it together and it represents where we were at in our lives when we got it. It is simple, but beautiful.

Women to Admire: Elizabeth White Stewart

Today I was going to tell you about a woman that needed to be admired for her hard work, determination, and endurance...but the more I read about this woman, the more I learned that we do NOT align. I can admire her for her professionalism, but our values are so opposite that I am discontinuing my post on her. I think it is important to see the good in others, but that does not mean supporting someone who has a voice for causes that you believe to be wrong and not in line with your personal values and morals. What I mean to say is, you can find good in others while at the same time disagreeing with them in many other arenas. It is OKAY to disagree. It is OKAY to change your mind. But don't forget truths you know and once learned as you search for knew answers... Now I will get off my soapbox. I promise the person I am writing about does have positive values.

So with much anticipation, as I know all of you wait on pins and needles for me to publish these posts every month, I present Elizabeth White Stewart whom I DO admire for her hard work, determination, and endurance.

Feb. 22, 1838- May 7, 1917

I think is is very important to know where you come from; to try to know the people who came before you. This wonderful woman is my great great great grandmother--four generations before me!

Elizabeth's story begins in England when her mother decided to emigrate to America so they could practice their religion freely after joining the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints in 1854. They sailed on the ship Horizon and met up with her brother who had left earlier in the year in New York City. From there they traveled and soon met up with the famous pioneer handcart companies. On their journey West they witnessed several tragedies including a stampede of buffalo trampling a fellow traveler and leaving behind a newborn that died a month after. They were caught in the unforgiving winter and saw several deaths. Through all of this Elizabeth and her family trudged on uncomplaining. She was a teen at the time and found comfort in traveling with her family. At one point in the journey they were starving and her mother said they would be taken care of by the Lord. Later that night a rescue company found them and had food to feed them all. The rescue company took the elderly and sick and a couple of young women to help nurse on the remaining journey. Elizabeth was one of them. She did not want to leave her family, but she did as was asked of her and journeyed the rest of the way to Salt Lake City without her family. Her family joined her a few weeks later. 

Elizabeth married Isaac M. Stewart when she was 19 years old. They had 11 children together; one which died in childhood. She must have been such a wonderful mother because this is a poem her children wrote for her:

February 22, 1914

Can it be, Dearest Mother, so long since our birth?

Seventy-six years since you first came to earth?

In fancy I see the good angels of love

Selecting a spirit to send from above.

They all knew the great work there was here to do,

That is why they looked 'round until they found you;

But they did not send you on roses to tread,

So many sharp thorns were placed in your bed;

And how bravely you've fought through life's rugged way,

With a sweet smiling face and heart hopeful and gay;

With faith and with patience you've trusted in God

Amid trials and hardships, have been true to the rod.

O the joy and the pride, God looks from above

Upon you, Dearest Mother, with His tender love;

He knows how oft at the close of the day

You've gathered your children around you to pray;

Ah, I fancy I see us now at your knee„

Little boys and girls so full of glee;

But those happy days have now passed away,

And you, Dearest Mother, have grown old and gray;

The once rosy cheek and the dark brown hair

Have faded with toil, with sorrow and care;

But you are just as sweet with your silvery hair

As you were when a maiden young and fair;

We love to gaze on your beautiful face,

Which beams with sunshine, love and grace.

O loving Mother, may God grant you peace,

And may your days of joy increase,

May we, your daughters and your sons,

Live the good life that you have done.

You have not sought honor, wealth, nor fame„

A humble, pure life has been your aim;

For your children you've sacrificed everything dear,

And your name, Precious Mother, we'll ever revere.

Yes, your eyes have grown dim and your form bent with care.

May we tenderly smooth each silvery hair,

Strew flowers around, speak kind words of love,

'Til God calls you to dwell in His home up above.

Elizabeth White Stewart is on the horse and those are mostly her children. My great great grandfather is the boy in the middle next to the woman. 

One of my favorite things about her is that she was a very hard worker. When she "had four small children, [she] milked seven cows night and morning, and the following year [she] made one thousand pounds of butter out of which [she] paid one hundred pounds for tithing. All of the soap, which [she] used for laundry work for forty years, was what [she] made [herself]. [She] washed wool, picked it, spun and dyed it, and wove it into cloth and made clothes by hand for my six children before getting a sewing machine. [She] braided straw and sewed it into hats.


During the early part of [her] married life, sugar was so scarce and high in price that [they] boiled beets and made a syrup from them which served in the place of sugar. [They] also made preserves from carrots cooked in beet syrup. Wild currants were cooked and sweetened in the same way."

It is awesome to see a lineage of hardworking and faithful people. My great great great grandmother was faithful enough to make the trip with her family to America. I am so grateful to her for that. I am grateful she sacrificed so much to come and to her mother, my great great great great grandmother. 

Women to Admire: Harriet Tubman

Happy Black History Month! I thought it would be fitting to honor a person of color for the month of February. In 8th grade I did a report on Harriet Tubman and ever since I have admired her. She was an amazing woman.

Harriet Tubman lived through slavery, but when she was a girl she got hit so badly that she suffered from sleeping spells the rest of her life. It was a constant challenge to deal with, but she carried on with her duties every day the best she could.

There are a few things that have impressed me the most about Harriet. I never knew she was a religious person before reading more about her from her contemporaries. They say she had a sort of prophesying power being able to accomplish and do the things she did...especially pertaining to her great work for the Underground Railroad. There is no exact number for how many people she was able to lead to the free land of the North, but it is believed to be around 300. Her mission to rescue people began when she set foot on free land. She said:

I looked at my hands...to see if I was de same person now I was free. Dere was such a glory ober eberything, de sun came like gold trou de trees, and ober de fields, and I felt like I was in heaven...

So it was wid me. I had crossed de line of which I had so long been dreaming. I was free; but dere was no one to welcome me to de land of freedom, I was a stranger in a strange land, and my home after all was down in de old cabin quarter wid de ole folks, and my brudders and sisters. But to dis solemn resolution I had came; I was free, and dey should be free also; I would make a home for dem in de North, and de Lord helping me, I would bring dem dere. Oh, how I prayed den, lying all alone on de cold, damp ground; "Oh, dear Lord," I said, "I haint got no friend but you. Come to my help, Lord, for I'm in trouble!" (Bradford 17-18)

And she prayed all day long. Her prayers were conversations with God. It wasn't what you would consider a typical prayer where you sit/kneel and prayed with your eyes closed and arms folded, but she talked with God all day long as she worked and as she walked. She told Him everything that was on her mind and He always guided her. She never would doubt His hand in her life. She had complete faith, even a knowledge, that she would not die until it was her time. She always expected God to help her and give her answers to prayers. That is a great faith that I strive to have and hope to develop.

But I not only admire her for her faith, but her drive to do good. To take care of others. She not only helped people to freedom while her own life was on the line, but she took care of soldiers and scouted for them all without pay. She just always did the right thing. She never asked for anything in return. She got a prompting to do something and did it. I drag my feet so often when I should be doing other things, and this woman, who surely suffered more than I ever have, never complained and just went to work. I want to be like that. I don't want to make excuses. I want my daughters to do good things, to have integrity and charity like Harriet Tubman.

Quotes and information are from "Harriet Tubman: The Moses of Her People" by Sarah Bradford

Women to Admire: Marjorie Pay Hinckley

If you are suffering from self-doubt and low self esteem, you must read about Marjorie Pay Hinckley. She undoubtedly knows how to make you feel like 1 million bucks. She sees everyone's worth no matter how insignificant you feel or how small you see yourself. She has inspired me to love myself for what I am, and to love and serve those I can.

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"I recently read a study of 275 college men and women. It revealed that over 90 percent suffered from gnawing, frustrated feelings of deficiency. They gave all sorts of reasons: physical incompetence, unpleasant appearance, lack of social charm, failure in love, low intellectual ability. To me a form of compensation is almost always possible. The homely young woman may develop the more wit and charm because she is homely. The shy youth with a temperament of a recluse may find a useful niche in scientific research. 

No well-integrated life is possible without self-acceptance. If you are shy, accept it. If you have no musical ability, accept it, as though to say: "I, John Smith, hereby accept myself with my inherited endowments and the elements in my environment that I cannot control, and I will now see what I can do with this John Smith." "

Marjorie makes you feel like the world is your oyster. When I was a new college student I felt like the world was at my fingertips. I had all the potential and possibilities in the world. After I got married and had my second baby I began to feel defeated...like this was no longer true. I was being pulled in too many directions and I was still trying to gracefully handle it all. I wanted so much to be the perfect wife, the perfect friend, and the perfect mother. I was treading water. But I have gained strength in my knowledge that while being perfect would be awesome it is not obtainable. And my feelings of inadequacy are still there, but they have diminished greatly. Sister Hinckley, as we call her in my church, says "the rewards of intellectual curiosity are many. The world will always be your pumpkin, full of magic, full of wonder. You will be interesting to your friends, to your husband, and a joy to your children. You will have perpetual youth." The world is still at my fingertips. I can still learn many things every day. Marge did not have a formal college education because during that time of her life it was the great depression so instead she worked, but one of her many great traits was her thirst for knowledge and everyone that knows her acknowledges her love of books and studying.

I will end this with a story that Marjorie Hinckley told:

Some years ago I had a friend who decided at the age of fifty that she was going to learn to play the piano. She courageously started with Thompson's Book I. Each morning she went to the church at seven o'clock, where she would practice on the piano and the organ. After about a year they asked her to play a special musical number for the Relief Society (our church's women's organization) lessons. She said she didn't feel ready, and to give her another three months. The three months passed, and she consented to play a special number that she had memorized. This was her first public appearance on the piano. She started out beautifully. It went well for about three measures, then she lost it. Everything went blank. Her music teacher, who was present, said "Don't be ruffled Merle. Just start over." She started over and made it all the way through without a single mistake. 

We have never loved Merle like we loved her that morning. Perhaps it was because she faltered a little in the beginning and we were all pulling for her, saying to ourselves, "Come on, Merle, you can do it." If her performance had been flawless from the start, we might all have been defensive and said, "Oh well, Merle can learn to play the piano because her husband is the kind who will get his own breakfast while she practices and her children don't make demands on her" and so on and so on and so on. As it was, she faltered a little, and we loved her the more. That experience has given me great comfort. I figure that if I fall a little short of what is expected of me, perhaps my sisters in the gospel (and hopefully those others not of our faith) will be compassionate and love me for trying. 

It was Lucy Mack Smith who said, "Let us all help one another, that we may sit down together in heaven."

And that, my friends, is how Marjorie Pay Hinckley lived her life. She was always looking to love, to help, and to care. She was genuine in her interactions with everyone she met. When she asked "how are you?" she really wanted to know. She gave sincere compliments and gave thanks for those given to her. I want my children to grow up thinking of this woman's example of how to live life in optimism, faith, and humor.

Know that you are worth it. You are awesome. Accept it. Believe it. And do good with it.

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Her husband loeved her so much.
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She is so cute and small. I believe Under 5 feet.
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I found all of my information from a book entitled Glimpses into the Life and Heart of Marjorie Pay Hinckley edited by Virginia Pearce (one of her daughters). Marjorie's quotes are in green.

Women to Admire

Big. 

Dirty.

Chaotic.

Uncontrollable. Scary. Immoral. Unjust. 

These are a few words that come to my mind when I think of the world I am raising my children in. I am not typically a pessimist but when I gave birth to that first little gift from God...I became wary. This world has so much in it that I am terrified for my children to be exposed to. I have to teach them to travel in twos because the possibility of them getting raped is 1:5. My heart is crying thinking about anyone or anything hurting them. 

That being said there are so many things that are great about this world; our technological advances, our medical information, the opportunity to get a good education. All this is wonderful. 

I want my daughters to grow up believing and hoping for the best. Seeing the best in others. I want them to find people to admire. To help model their lives after. I want them to have so many influences of goodness, love, and compassion. Who are these influences? 

My project for this year is called "Women to Admire." I am going to be researching and writing one blurb about one woman a month. Each woman will be someone who holds specific talents, and traits that allow them to do incredible things with courage. Your definition and my definition of incredible may be different, but I believe even small things like teaching a child to walk, or forgiving someone for lying/cheating/stealing are incredible things. These women will be real woman. Some have lived difficult lives. Some have lived blessed lives. But they have all taken their circumstances and lived for something good and better. That, to me, is something to be admired. I hope when you read about these women that you are touched and maybe even look further into their lives. I hope they help you, like they have me, to become someone better than I am today. Keep an eye out for these posts. The first one is coming at you sometime this week.