What They Want You To Think Bed Rest Looks Like, and What It Really Looks Like

This is how it feels when they first tell you that you need to be on bed rest:

And I don't even like basketball. -sigh-

Bath-time has become a bit of a sanctuary for me. It's the only time of the day for a length of time that I am not laying in bed. Instead I am laying in a vat of water. It feels nice to be "weightless." After my bath I feel like my body is renewed for another day. Marcus wonders why I take them so often lately. This is why.

This is how it is minus the bathing suit and there are usually some bubbles. It is so nice.

 These are some nice beautiful pictures of what people want you to think bed rest is like:

This would never happen because you can't get out of bed to do your hair in perfect curls. I wish. 

No one looks this good or is this happy to just sit there. 

This is a nice idea. If I knew how to knit I would. Maybe. But how much knitting can one actually handle?

No one actually sleeps while on bed rest...and no one smiles when they sleep. That is just creepy. 

What bed rest is ACTUALLY like:

Lots of headaches from a change in lifestyle and added medicines. 

Boredom.

Lots of T.V.

Lack of hair style and makeup and lots of crying; crying because you're bored, crying because you want the baby to be healthy and strong, crying because no one is there, crying because you miss the world outside the walls of your room and bathroom, etc. 

All of those things are worth bringing a new soul and spirit into our family. I love this tiny girl and I am grateful to be able to focus on her little (sometimes big) kicks. It is the only thing that really makes this bearable; knowing that I am doing this because I am creating a person.

My mom told me something that helps take the guilt away from having Marcus take on all other responsibilities. We are partners and we decided to do this together; to make a family together. Some men have to do more work to get children into this world than others. Marcus just happens to be one of the lucky ones. I can see that he is slowly losing it though. He takes care of Madeline and me 24/7. We call on him for everything. I wish we could trade places. I do. He doesn't blame me, he just thinks the situation sucks. You know, it does. But we will make it. One more month (plus a little). But, they might move me to the hospital next week. It depends on my fluid and dilating status. If my water breaks, which it can any time, I will definitely be going to the hospital. I don't mind hospitals, and we have insurance. 

I do realize that I am blessed immensely in my life still. I have a wonderful ward and people who volunteer to help out; specifically my visiting teacher and friend--Lauren. She watches Maddy and is pretty much on call whenever I need something. She is an angel. And then there is the woman and friend I visit teach--Kristin. She texts me to make sure I am good and to see if the relief society needs to do anything for me. The Relief Society is definitely an amazing and inspired program. I am sure Emma Smith would be proud to see how far it has come because it truly helps women to touch the lives of those in their immediate areas, and sometimes across the world if it is the right kind of service project. I am glad to be part of the Relief Society.

My family has also been super supportive. Mom sent me two cute nightgowns so I could feel pretty. Alicia is sending my some makeup which I can't wait to try out. Melanie calls me on Skype. So blessed. 

So, if you're wondering how I am doing just refer back to what bed rest actually looks like. That is the honest truth. Sometimes good things happen like Marcus surprises me with a big bag of Lays Potato Chips and freshly made ranch dip; that makes me joyous. I know I can handle this. 

Love,

Christiana

Rediscovering Music

Sometimes it is good to be trapped in bed because then I get to catch up on things that I have been missing out on since being so crazy busy with school, family, church...mostly school.

Music and books.

I haven't had time for recreational music-listening or reading, and now...time's all I have. Marcus is going to the library to check me out some books to read this coming week. I will talk about those after I read them. For now, I am just going to mention songs that I really like and have barely heard, but kinda sorta love! (Disclaimer, I only listen to edited versions of songs.)

• Wake Me Up by Avicii--Dance and Road trip song
• Ho Hey by The Lumineers--Road Trip song
• I Love It by Icona Pop--great fun break up song...not that I am breaking up with anyone ever. 
• Everything Has Changed by Taylor Swift--thinking song
• Sure Be Cool if You Did by Blake Shelton--slow but super cute. 
• I Want Crazy by Hunter Hayes--fun cute love song that describes me and Marcus :D (and probably you and your special someone if you have one) Also some people think that love is this super epiphany-like thing...sometimes it's just love. There are days you feel like you're on some kind of high and there are days where a peck on the lips is good enough. 
• Just Give Me a Reason by P!nk --knowing that love takes work and being strong enough to do the work.
• Cups by (many artists) Anna Kendrick--simple and easy to listen to.
• Beneath Your Beautiful by Labrinth--kinda reminds me that there is more to me than supposed beauty or uglyness; we are all people underneath the outer shells. 
• Some Nights by fun--So fun! Road trip and dance song
• Still Into You by Paramore--Again...like me and Marcus though we have many more years to make people wonder how we are together..how we make things work. 

So, which songs would you recommend?

Stay-Busy

I already organized all of Madeline's old clothes into sizes and which I want to keep and which I want to give away. I did this in bed, of course. It is nice to be able to nest even if it is not deep-cleaning which I really want to do.

Ideas to keep me sane and busy:

• redecorate the door wreath 
• go through my clothes and decide which can go and which will stay
• keep a blog/journal about each day
• write letters
• finish up Madeline's baby book
• do some online shopping--I want the whole caboodle and a double stroller which I plan on seeing on Friday. 
• read a book
• start a new hobby--I want to learn how to make turban-knotted headbands. I thought it would be cute if Madeline, the new baby, and I wore matching headbands on our way home from the hospital. 

Bed Rest Stress

Let me begin by saying how I got into this situation of being on bed rest. On Saturday I went to the bathroom after waking up in the morning and when I wiped there was bright red blood on the toilet paper. I was NOT expecting that. I had also been having some pretty bad dull back pain in my lower back. I called my doctors which were out of the office so it automatically sent my call to the on-call nurse who told me to get my fanny to the hospital. When I got there they hooked me up to monitors which showed that the baby's heartbeat was perfect, but that I was having some regular contractions. After a few hours at the hospital and after they checked me--super uncomfortable--my contractions slowed down to almost a complete stop. 

They sent me home after making an appointment with my doctor to see me on Wednesday putting me on strict bed rest until then. I was back in the hospital the next morning with contractions having tried drinking water and taking a warm bath. No such luck for me. They kept me for the day and administered Terbutalin which stops labor. After an hour of monitoring me on the "terb" they sent me home. I was back in the hospital the following night with contractions. They did not really do anything that night except monitor me. It was a little frustrating because it seemed that the nurse did not believe me. She said "you know, sometimes what we think are contractions are really just lower back pain from having more weight up front, plus the curvature on your spine." I was like "girl, I have experienced contractions before, and they wouldn't have given my "terb" yesterday if I hadn't been having contractions." Whatev. I went home that night since they wouldn't keep me over night, and stayed home Tuesday night since I knew they would probably just send me home and I had a rough night sleep. Tossing. Turning. 

Well, my doctor's appointment was scheduled for Wednesday afternoon. Today. So, when I went in they checked me again and I was 1cm dilated. I had been sitting on bed rest..doing nothing. I was doing nothing and my body STILL decides to dilate. They hooked me up to the same monitors they hooked me up to in the hospital. They saw some contractions and since I told them I could feel the contractions when they were seeing them on the monitor (which was not facing me) they decided to do an ultrasound to check the status of my cervix (is it thinning). They saw that it was thinning and also that baby girl is in the head down position ready to exit. Silly girl. I'm not letting her out any time soon! Now they have me on bed rest until April 21st when I reach 34 weeks and some pills I have to take twice a day. 

It is going to be a long six weeks.

They want to see me once a week plus I get some extra ultrasounds. 

I have been stressed about student teaching. Will I actually graduate? Will I get my diploma? It is only one month away. How could this happen one month away from my goal?! Whatever the reason, the school will figure out what they need to do with me so that I can pass. My faculty mentor told me not to think about student teaching right now--to focus on my family, my daughter, and my pregnancy. He was so kind and I cried. I just needed this little grace, and now I feel like I have everyone's support. Now my only problem is...what am I going to do on bed rest  for six weeks?