Much has happened since my last entry.
November 5, 2010
This day will be a day of celebration for years to come because it is the day I received my endowment. I loved to receive that special gift, but I still do not know what everything meant. I know that it was all good though...it was--what I expected and not what I expected at the same time. It makes sense after studying the priesthood. I can't wait to go back so I can learn more because I feel as though I am still a lost little sheep; I don't know what so many of the symbols and such mean. This is where I will take my studies. I will read The Pearl of Great Price, and study study study what's inside. I don't know what I will learn, but I will certainly learn, and I know the Spirit of the Lord will be with me because He wants me to seek after anything that is virtuous, lovely, or of good report; all of which that book, the temple, and the priesthood are.
My favorite part going through the temple was the washing and anointing--the initiatory. I loved the blessings and promises that were made to me as an heiress and a priestess. I want to go back as soon as I can to the temple so that I can hear those wonderful words and have them restored to my memory. I learned many new things in that short time of the initiatory, and I am grateful I was worthy to learn them. May I always be worthy, and may my children be worthy as well because many great things have been promised...and still all that we are asked to do is remain faithful and to choose the right.
My second favorite part of that day was when I walked into the Celestial room. My parents, grandparents, two of my aunts, and an uncle were there to greet me. I imagine that that is exactly how it will be when I return to the heavens, and furthermore, when I have proved myself worthy to enter and remain in Heavenly Father's presence after the Judgment. Marcus will be with me then; not like when I walked into the Celestial room. Marcus was in Rexburg, and I was in Los Angeles. But thank goodness for the restored sealing power because I can now be with Marcus forever when we prove ourselves worthy, which we will do.
November 6, 2010
Racheal and Jacob were married this day. I am so happy that I was able to be in the sealing room for the ceremony. I think it was a wise choice to receive my own endowments earlier. I paid close attention to what happened during the sealing because I will soon be married to Marcus Edwards Thackeray--the man of my dreams. It will be the very BEST day of my life. Anyways, their ceremony was good. I am proud of Racheal, and I hope she understands what covenants she has made. I know she is faithful and she will do what is right and if she does not know, she will ask for help.
I was really grateful Alden was able to be at the ceremony too. It was both of our opportunity to be a part of the sealing, even just as witnesses.
It was really great to be able to see all my friends again; Meeshell, Sabrina, Sari, Caroline, Stephanie, Alden, Lee, and a few others. I was attacked, when I came out of the temple, by a mob of smiles and hugs. It was such an exciting feeling! I can't wait for that feeling when we all return to our Father. Everyone looked the same, talked the same, walked the same, but it was different without Marcus. He wasn't able to come down which was a great disappointment to me, but it wasn't possible for him. And now I only have to wait TEN days to see him! Hallelujah! He will be here for SEVEN days! ONE WEEK! I love him so so much, and I can't wait to see him so I can talk to him face to face, and one on one, and hold his hand, stroke his hair, kiss his cheeks and lips, hug him, squeeze him, watch movies with him--EVERYTHING with him. -sigh-
November 10, 2010
Marcus.
Edwards.
Thackeray.
I miss you.
Love,
Christiana
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Great News
I am receiving my endowment in 8 days! That is awesome! Which means Racheal is getting married in 9! Woo!
But here is the awesome exciting news! Melanie is pregnant! How weird, and yet wonderful! It's weird because that could be me having a baby. She is my twin! AH. So, she is having a baby. Emma, Alicia's daughter, will have a cousin to play with. I wonder if it will be a girl or a boy. I wonder if Mel is ready.. I don't think I am. But whether she thinks she is or not, Heavenly Father thinks she and Christopher can handle a baby right away. She will never have alone time with Christopher ever again! haha. But in a very good way. She'll have that constant worry, which is good. I think it makes a person totally less selfish.
Marcus guessed right away when I told him. Darn it. I wanted to break the news; in his words, "he stole my thunder." He was going to be the only one I could tell, too. :/ Bummer! But at least we can both share the joy of becoming new aunt and uncle to this baby which will inherently be cute!
I am having my stake interview with the president today in order to get my temple recommend officially official. It will be nice, and then by this time next week I will be entirely prepared to enter into the house of the Lord in order to become closer to him; one with His will. If my will is completely aligned with His, there's no limit to the things I will be able to accomplish, and to think that, soon after I will be married and Marcus and I together will be able to have and create an eternal family through our righteousness. That is going to be the most exciting part of this adventure.
I've done the "single" thing and now it's time to do the "married" thing--forever! I am excited.
I love my life.
But here is the awesome exciting news! Melanie is pregnant! How weird, and yet wonderful! It's weird because that could be me having a baby. She is my twin! AH. So, she is having a baby. Emma, Alicia's daughter, will have a cousin to play with. I wonder if it will be a girl or a boy. I wonder if Mel is ready.. I don't think I am. But whether she thinks she is or not, Heavenly Father thinks she and Christopher can handle a baby right away. She will never have alone time with Christopher ever again! haha. But in a very good way. She'll have that constant worry, which is good. I think it makes a person totally less selfish.
Marcus guessed right away when I told him. Darn it. I wanted to break the news; in his words, "he stole my thunder." He was going to be the only one I could tell, too. :/ Bummer! But at least we can both share the joy of becoming new aunt and uncle to this baby which will inherently be cute!
I am having my stake interview with the president today in order to get my temple recommend officially official. It will be nice, and then by this time next week I will be entirely prepared to enter into the house of the Lord in order to become closer to him; one with His will. If my will is completely aligned with His, there's no limit to the things I will be able to accomplish, and to think that, soon after I will be married and Marcus and I together will be able to have and create an eternal family through our righteousness. That is going to be the most exciting part of this adventure.
I've done the "single" thing and now it's time to do the "married" thing--forever! I am excited.
I love my life.
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
What does one do when life hands you lemons?
Hello,
Last month was probably one of the hardest and most difficult months of my life emotionally speaking. I think it was the very first time I was actually...dare I say it...depressed. I hate to admit that I was in fact depressed because that means I was being the most selfish person in the world...I really hate to admit that.
I don't know how to explain what happened, but I think I just felt like I was attacked by all the little things that life throws at you all at once. It didn't help matters that Marcus was all the way in Idaho, away from me. He has become the best part of me, and I think losing him would totally stink. It would be devastating. But he claims he is invincible and that he is here to stay until he goes at the young age of sixty. Yeah right. He will get very old along next to me. We will be happy and we have lots of children. So far we like the number 12.
Anyways, I survived my period of depression and no, I did not have to use drugs. I used faith. I think that, and prayers for me. I was showing a lack of faith while I was depressed, but to get out of that depression it took a lot of faith. I had to trust that everything was fine in the Lord's hands, and that He would take care of everything. That's why he's here; to help and to love.
Now that I am not depressed anymore, I am feeling invigorated and ready to take on the world. My first plan is to learn how to make fondant and good cake because I really want to make my own wedding cake. Leah, my good friend and neighbor, came over for pretty much the whole day, and we decided that it would be really exciting and joyous if we learned how to make cake together! Plus, I think it will be super fun. I've been watching lots of cake shows on television; cake boss, amazing wedding cakes, ace of cakes. I would like to add a bit of me to the cake. It will be a fun experience.
Marcus is doing really well in school. He has straight A's. He would get mad at himself if he didn't get those grades. He works day and night to get them. He is amazing. I hope a lot of the devotion goes to our marriage as well. I know he has this balancing act he needs to perfect, but I just hope it doesn't take him long to perfect it. There's family time (which at the moment is "me" time) and then there's work time (which at the moment is school). I want him to succeed, I really do, because his success is my success. I want him to find success with me, too, though. We'll see what happens, and I really shouldn't be worrying about that now. We're not even married yet.
55 days!
He is coming to visit me in 25 days for a whole week! What he does while here for that whole week will really amaze me. I am sure I will have work almost every day, except for the Thanksgiving part, but the other parts we will spend lots and lots of time together, but we won't passionately kiss. We swore that off last month. I don't know how we'll handle that.. ugh. We WILL manage though. We want to feel pure and joyous and especially worthy when we kneel across the altar from one another in the beautiful Los Angeles Temple. And for that reason, the Lord will give us strength to resist and avoid temptation. (We'll probably never be alone. haha.)
Racheal, one of my good friends, is getting married on November 6th! It is really exciting! We have been planning our futures together for so long and now they are finally happening! Her fiance, Jacob, is a fabulous man, and he deserves to marry a wonderful woman like Racheal. They will work well together, I think.
Melanie, my twin, is having a lonely time in Texas with her husband Christopher. But she is making it. She just doesn't have many friends there, yet, but I know that's coming. She gets to come to my sealing which is one thing I was worried about for a little bit. Man. I am really lucky. Racheal, and Melanie get to come to my sealing. As for my older sister, Alicia, I will see her in the temple some day. I know I will. She just needs a little more strength and faith that she can handle following the right. She can do it.
I got mad at my Dad today because he did something that was offensive to me. He was just so uninviting..something I would hate to have in my future home with Marcus. I talked to him about it and he says that if an inviting warm feeling is so important to me for our future home together that that's the way it would be. And that's the way it will be--goodness gracious!
It is icey cold in the house at the moment. Pop forgot to pay the gas bill, so we have no heat and no hot water until tomorrow. Oh how much I love modern conveniences! I would totally suck as a pioneer.
Marcus is having more and more memorable dreams! A couple nights ago he had a dream that we were married and he was called as the Albanian mission president! That is awesome! If that does happen, it won't happen for a few years now because usually those men are self-sufficient, which we totally aren't right now. I mean, we're still filed as dependents on our parents' tax forms! But I do know that one day we will have a home and a wonderful loving family of our own. I am completely excited about that time.
For now, being engaged is a trial, but the first years of marriage will rock and we will see each other's true colors even more vividly.
It will be an adventure.
So what do we do when life gives us those lemons? We get sugar and make lemonade!
Last month was probably one of the hardest and most difficult months of my life emotionally speaking. I think it was the very first time I was actually...dare I say it...depressed. I hate to admit that I was in fact depressed because that means I was being the most selfish person in the world...I really hate to admit that.
I don't know how to explain what happened, but I think I just felt like I was attacked by all the little things that life throws at you all at once. It didn't help matters that Marcus was all the way in Idaho, away from me. He has become the best part of me, and I think losing him would totally stink. It would be devastating. But he claims he is invincible and that he is here to stay until he goes at the young age of sixty. Yeah right. He will get very old along next to me. We will be happy and we have lots of children. So far we like the number 12.
Anyways, I survived my period of depression and no, I did not have to use drugs. I used faith. I think that, and prayers for me. I was showing a lack of faith while I was depressed, but to get out of that depression it took a lot of faith. I had to trust that everything was fine in the Lord's hands, and that He would take care of everything. That's why he's here; to help and to love.
Now that I am not depressed anymore, I am feeling invigorated and ready to take on the world. My first plan is to learn how to make fondant and good cake because I really want to make my own wedding cake. Leah, my good friend and neighbor, came over for pretty much the whole day, and we decided that it would be really exciting and joyous if we learned how to make cake together! Plus, I think it will be super fun. I've been watching lots of cake shows on television; cake boss, amazing wedding cakes, ace of cakes. I would like to add a bit of me to the cake. It will be a fun experience.
Marcus is doing really well in school. He has straight A's. He would get mad at himself if he didn't get those grades. He works day and night to get them. He is amazing. I hope a lot of the devotion goes to our marriage as well. I know he has this balancing act he needs to perfect, but I just hope it doesn't take him long to perfect it. There's family time (which at the moment is "me" time) and then there's work time (which at the moment is school). I want him to succeed, I really do, because his success is my success. I want him to find success with me, too, though. We'll see what happens, and I really shouldn't be worrying about that now. We're not even married yet.
55 days!
He is coming to visit me in 25 days for a whole week! What he does while here for that whole week will really amaze me. I am sure I will have work almost every day, except for the Thanksgiving part, but the other parts we will spend lots and lots of time together, but we won't passionately kiss. We swore that off last month. I don't know how we'll handle that.. ugh. We WILL manage though. We want to feel pure and joyous and especially worthy when we kneel across the altar from one another in the beautiful Los Angeles Temple. And for that reason, the Lord will give us strength to resist and avoid temptation. (We'll probably never be alone. haha.)
Racheal, one of my good friends, is getting married on November 6th! It is really exciting! We have been planning our futures together for so long and now they are finally happening! Her fiance, Jacob, is a fabulous man, and he deserves to marry a wonderful woman like Racheal. They will work well together, I think.
Melanie, my twin, is having a lonely time in Texas with her husband Christopher. But she is making it. She just doesn't have many friends there, yet, but I know that's coming. She gets to come to my sealing which is one thing I was worried about for a little bit. Man. I am really lucky. Racheal, and Melanie get to come to my sealing. As for my older sister, Alicia, I will see her in the temple some day. I know I will. She just needs a little more strength and faith that she can handle following the right. She can do it.
I got mad at my Dad today because he did something that was offensive to me. He was just so uninviting..something I would hate to have in my future home with Marcus. I talked to him about it and he says that if an inviting warm feeling is so important to me for our future home together that that's the way it would be. And that's the way it will be--goodness gracious!
It is icey cold in the house at the moment. Pop forgot to pay the gas bill, so we have no heat and no hot water until tomorrow. Oh how much I love modern conveniences! I would totally suck as a pioneer.
Marcus is having more and more memorable dreams! A couple nights ago he had a dream that we were married and he was called as the Albanian mission president! That is awesome! If that does happen, it won't happen for a few years now because usually those men are self-sufficient, which we totally aren't right now. I mean, we're still filed as dependents on our parents' tax forms! But I do know that one day we will have a home and a wonderful loving family of our own. I am completely excited about that time.
For now, being engaged is a trial, but the first years of marriage will rock and we will see each other's true colors even more vividly.
It will be an adventure.
So what do we do when life gives us those lemons? We get sugar and make lemonade!
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Marcus
I am getting married December 21st! It is really exciting, however...he has not popped the question. I am speaking of my future husband Marcus Edwards Thackeray (tall, dreamy, worthy, intelligent, strong, helpful, gentle, kind, ambitious.) We are supposed to go ring shopping today, but I don't actually know if that is going to happen. (How big of a deal is follow-through?) I love my Marcus. He is an amazing man that I cannot wait to spend eternity with.
We may be doing things out of order, but it's all in the name of love.
We may be doing things out of order, but it's all in the name of love.
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