Just Thinking

I was thinking... do more people hang up their clothes, or do more people prefer to fold them? I think I used to be a folder, but now I am leaning toward the hanging up side... except for jeans and j's. Socks also have their own basket...and do we need to match them? I do sometimes, but other times I just throw them all in the basket. I think it mostly depends on how I am feeling at the time--did I just eat a large lunch and now am feeling tired, or am I on a cleaning spurt? It just depends.

I want to be perfect. I am tired of being stressed. School. School. School. I don't remember being this stressed in my entire life... then again I was never before trying to raise my daughter, and keep the house clean, and make dinners. I feel like quitting but that would mean wasting a LOT of money that I have taken loans for. Plus I wouldn't have anything to show for all my hard work. I am seriously so close to being done. In April I am taking my HUGE exams called PRAXIS. They are state exams that qualify me to get my teaching degree. Taking classes doesn't prove you are good enough. Anyhoo, these exams are really expensive. I am going to have to study my booty off in order to pass and not waste the $250 that it took to register. Life is stressful, but good. I like it the most when the house is clean and I have no homework, and my friends have come to visit, and there are delicious smells are coming from the kitchen. :D -sigh- Those are the very best of times.

Learn to Dance in the Rain

Tonight Marcus told me he would never in eternity like nor participate in dance. This tore my heart to pieces. Dancing has been a huge part of who I am basically my whole life! I am not a competitive dancer and have never taken dance classes--except those oh-so-fun middle school days where the girls were still taller than the boys. I just find it the best way to let go of all my busyness of mind, to have fun, and to get a little tone on my muscles. Ever since I could remember it has been my escape from reality when reality seemed to really suck, or it was part of my reality when I was having a blast with my girls (trying to pick up guys). It's just crazy because he hates it as much as I love it... so how do we compromise... or rather... how do I get him to love it? *deep thoughts* There may not be a way. But he told me he would come and watch me while he does homework and watches Monkey. -sigh- I just feel so heartbroken! I didn't think this was possible after marriage! The ironic thing about this is... he loves watching America's Best Dance Crew, and he used to watch So You Think You Can Dance, but a lot of their dancing has become super sensual. It makes me uncomfortable to watch.

This is how I feel when I dance. 

This is also how I feel... 

This is probably how I look while dancing! :)

"Why do we dance? Although each person’s reasons might be different, many people admit that dancing gives them access to their hidden truths. One might enthusiastically welcome an invitation to a dance party as an opportunity for letting loose, releasing tension and discovering a joyous feeling, seemingly part of our natural selves, but lost to us in our daily hectic lives. Dance is also popularly used by dance therapists to navigate very deep trauma, in order to free the victim of it. Dance can help us hook up to the true genius lurking behind the cover-up of social convention that can sometimes prevent us from connecting to certain aspects of the self.
Though dance can be done in silence, it is typically done to a beat. Music gives a mood and vibration that we can feel in our bodies. Almost inevitably, we start moving. For most people, it is simply intuitive." -Yolessa K. Lawrinnce

The Rest of Vacation

I should have posted this a couple months ago, but here is the rest of our vacation during the 7 week break. 

Marcus and Camron playing basketball at the local middle school.

Maddy watching her papa.

This is a lovely poster that my sister-in-law Sarah made, but it totally bugs me! It bugs her too, so it's okay. The words "the" and "world" have a huge space between them unequal to all the other words. And there is an "r" that is backward. Also, I look super Asian in this picture.

Heehee. He is so funny. 

Going through a car wash!

Meeting Uncle Zane.

Jelly Bean

A park that was actually having a beer festival...we didn't spend too much time there.

This was in Utah at the family reunion. We had so much fun visiting. But by the end of our vacation we were so ready to be home...Maddy most of all.

This is Marcus' 1st cousin once removed. His name is Sam. He is Maddy's 2nd cousin. 

Boys vs. Girls 

 

This was Maddy playing peek-a-boo for the first time ever during the reunion.

This is the Boys vs. Girls race. 

Being a Parent

I found some questions on the net that I wanted to answer. 

• When did you first find out that you’d be a parent? How did you feel?
• June 2011. I was excited and it was crazy to think that there was actually something alive inside of me. 
• Can you describe the moment when you saw your child for the first time?
• I thought, "I did it! That is the hardest thing I have done and I never want to experience that kind of pain again!" and "oh my gosh, she is real!" and "her toes look like monkey toes" and "oh my gosh she has red hair!" There were a LOT of thoughts right then. I also felt weird because I was now officially a parent for time and all eternity! 
• How has being a parent changed you?
• I now worry a LOT more about things being on the floor, and other safety issues. I get to love someone from the very beginning. I get to experience the greatest joy of my life. I spend a lot more money. I am more stressed. I have less time to sleep. I feel loved and needed a lot more. I feel more connected to my husband (I didn't know that was possible.) 
• What are your dreams for your children?
• I want them to have good values and have a dedication to service to the Lord. I want them to have happiness greater than mine. I want them to feel success. I want them to make friends. I want them to laugh a lot. I want them to be proactive thinkers. I want them to find an eternal companion. I want them to have children. I want them to feel the sun. I want them to walk on the beach. I want them to have good memories. I want them to become best friends. 

Life and My Comfy Robe

My life feels like it is in shambles because my classes are kicking my butt! But if that is the only thing wrong in my life... I feel like I can say I have a really great life. And I do.

Yesterday I taught my preschool class for the first time, and it was a pretty good first time! Plus ALL the children were there! One of our students had to drop the program because of a fever of 103 for the past 10 days! We have been praying and hope this child feels better. They moved to Utah to go to Primary Children's. Everything will work out the way it is supposed to. God makes sure of it.

Now, I normally don't do political things, but just so everyone knows... I VOTE ROMNEY '12! Also, I feel like Obama says what he thinks people want to hear. I feel the Romney knows who he is, has a good foundation, and has firm beliefs. This is what I look for in a leader...not a flip-flopper.

Marcus did not pass his first phone interview for the naval position, but his recruiter assures us that he will work us through the process. He got 6/10 questions right. I feel that for the interview to be positive he needs to get at least an 8. He is a little rusty on some of the mathematics since he has been tutoring physics this semester, so he has been studying like a madman. Keep him in your prayers please!

My little girl is growing up so quickly! I keep looking at newborn pictures of her and I get so sad that she is not that small any more, but seeing her grow is the best thing...kinda indescribable. The first time she held her bottle was the best day of my life because I could now focus on homework at the same time she was feeding!

Maddy at 7 months old!

Maddy at a couple of days old.

Can you see the huge difference? She can sit on her own and she is THIS close (imagine me with my thumb and index finger almost touching) to crawling. She gets frustrated that she can't move as easily as we can, but she also knows she is so close! She is so smart! She knows how to kick a ball (I taught her about a week or so ago), and she giggles at the littlest things!

That's my new comfy robe I got for my birthday. I wear it all the time around the house. 

Alden came over with Brett and Lee to wish me a belated happy birthday! :) Alden wanted to play with Maddy so much, and she giggled and giggled until it was an old game. I am so fortunate to have so many people who love Madeline. 

I need to start working out. Seriously. It's not that I am gaining weight or anything...I just feel generally unhealthy... Exercise is a huge part of being healthy and I have basically cut it out of my life. I get out to the gym/track once a week, but I really want to work up to every day (minus the Sabbath.) It's difficult juggling my life...baby...homework...housework...baby...marriage...baby...homework (lots of homework). I am trying to be well-rounded, but let me tell you that it is exhausting. Once I get my degree I will feel so GREAT. Only one year to go. I am so faaar behind! It' okay. It just matters that I get the degree.

On another note, I feel that I have the best husband in the world. He threw me a surprise birthday party. I really had no idea he was planning it, but all my friends bailed out, and things just popped up. Luckily Sabrina and Zach still came over and babysat so Marcus could take me on a date instead. It would have been great to celebrate with my friends since this is the last semester Racheal and Jacob will be here in Idaho, but I was happy to go on a date with Marcus not having to be the one to find a babysitter. PLUS, he got me a massage! It was the BEST gift EVER! I think I am addicted... I entered myself in for a chance to win a free massage, so I hope that happens. I find out Oct. 31st.